Blindsided
by pcworth
Summary: When Alex is injured badly on a mission, will she let her walls down enough to accept help from Maggie? This story takes place outside of canon - it is pretty much canon up until it jumps off after Alex had kissed Maggie and been rejected by her.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: This story ignores canon mostly. Maggie and Alex aren't together and Maggie doesn't know that Kara is Supergirl._**

"Supergirl," Maggie said, approaching her. "Good job in there."

Maggie had responded to what seemed like the average National City alien crisis. There was very little for her or the rest of the NCPD officers to do as Supergirl had swooped in.

"Thanks," Supergirl said, awkwardly. Maggie could tell Supergirl didn't even want to make eye contact with her. Of course, Maggie thought, of course Alex would have told her best alien friend about the fallout between the two of them.

Supergirl was about to take off. "Where is Agent Danvers? You two are usually joined at the hip," Maggie asked. In fact, this wasn't the first time she wondered just how close Supergirl and Alex were. But she hadn't seen Alex lately and she thought for sure this would be the kind of crime scene she would be at.

Maggie took a step back when she saw Supergirl pause but keeping her eyes anywhere but on Maggie. At first, she thought that Supergirl was just going to leave or maybe tear into her for breaking Alex's heart, but she was unprepared for what she said.

"Alex was hurt on a mission a few days ago."

"But she's ok, right?"

Supergirl shook her head no.

"How bad is it?"

This time Supergirl did turn to face her, but again she paused as if deciding what she should say.

"How bad?" Maggie repeated, knowing it couldn't be good.

"The DEO had been tracking this alien and when they located it Alex led a strike team in to apprehend it. But it wasn't alone. She ordered the team to fall back and she was providing cover fire when an alien hit her from behind. She never even saw it coming. She managed to fight it off but when she turned the original alien they were tracking was right there. It has the ability to use light as a weapon. Alex, she must have been looking right at it and when it used its power, the light it blew her back through a wall, which collapsed a section of the building on top of her… and when they got her out of there and she woke up in the medbay, she was blind. They don't know yet if it's permanent or not."

Maggie didn't say anything; she didn't know what to say. Alex was blind.

"I have to go," Supergirl said, when Maggie just continued to stand there. She may or may not have managed to nod her head at the girl of steel before she launched herself into the air.

Maggie didn't remember walking back to her car, but once she was inside she pulled out her phone and called up a picture she had taken of her and Alex after a game of pool. Both of them were smiling in it and Maggie had spent a lot of time looking at that photo since that night Alex had kissed her.

She called up Alex's number and dialed it. It rang and rang and then went to voicemail. She didn't know what to say so she didn't say anything, just hung up. But she needed to know Alex was ok, or at least as ok as she could be, so she dialed Kara's number.

"Hello."

"Hey Kara, it's Maggie. I just spoke with Supergirl and she told me about what happened with Alex, and I just, I wanted to how she was doing."

"She's … coping."

Maggie resisted the urge to ask what the hell that meant.

"I take it she is still at the DEO, you know, they're running tests and stuff to get her eye sight back."

There was a pause, and Maggie felt like she was again talking to Supergirl. Yes, she got it, she hurt Alex so no one wanted to talk to her anymore but this wasn't about her.

"She's been at home since last night."

"Well, are you there with her? Can I talk to her? I tried to call her but it went to voicemail."

"No, I'm not with her. She wants to be alone right now."

But she shouldn't be alone Maggie wanted to say, but all she said was "Ok, well, tell her I … I hope she gets better."

She didn't wait to hear if Kara said anything in return as she hung up and tossed the phone on the passenger seat.

….

Alex heard the knocking at the door, but she remained lying on the couch, her eyes open and looking toward the ceiling – a ceiling she could no longer actually see. Kara would have used her spare key or came flying in through a window so she knew it wasn't her sister and she had no interest in dealing with anyone else right now. She had to make Kara swear not to tell her mom. Kara had wanted to call her immediately but Alex didn't want her mom coming there because there was no doubt that is what she would do.

The knocking finally stopped thankfully so at least she could continue staring at the ceiling in peace.

Her phone, which was on vibrate and somewhere across the room from her, had gone off several times that day. She knew many of them were probably Kara checking in on her. Winn had fixed it up for her – gave it better voice commands so she could check or send messages. She vaguely remembered him saying something about how there were many apps out there that people found useful – that blind people found useful, but he had stumbled over the words. She suspected Kara may have given him a look at the time but it wasn't like she could see it.

She expected her sister would show up sooner or later but until that time she wanted to be alone. She didn't even know what time it was or if it was close to Kara getting off work. She had been lying there for a while now, not feeling like moving.

Alex sat up quickly – a little too quickly as dizziness hit her – but she thought she had heard another noise. She turned her head slightly listening for it. It sounded like, no it couldn't be she thought, but a second later she was sure. Someone was trying to lockpick the door to her apartment.

She stood up and instinctively reached for her gun but it wasn't there. It was back at the DEO. Why let a blind agent walk out with one? She had a spare, personal firearm but it was in a lock box in her bedroom. A knife, she thought, she would grab a knife from the kitchen. She stood up but two steps was as far as she got as her foot caught the end of the coffee table and she fell to the floor, unable to stop herself. She landed on her left shoulder crying out from the pain. She had just had surgery on it and it was still bandaged up and in a sling. More pain flooded throughout her body from her other injuries and her head was throbbing. She maybe shouldn't have ignored the DEO doctor who warned that she had a severe concussion and shouldn't have left the medbay.

A loud crashing noise had her attempting to get up as she heard someone say her name but it wasn't registering who it was. She tried to get to her feet, but she wavered and she felt someone touch her, pulling her up and she threw a wild punch with her right hand which missed and whoever it was grabbed her more securely, practically hugging her.

"Danvers, calm down. It's me, it's Maggie."

Before she could say anything, another voice rang out, "What's going on here?"

She felt Maggie release her as she recognized her sister's voice. She wished she had something to hold on to as she felt dizzy and was barely paying attention to the conversation now taking place.

"Supergirl," Maggie said.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kara said.

"It's not what it looks like," Maggie said. "I just came over to see how she was doing and she wasn't answering so I got worried."

"So you broke the door to get in?"

"Well I was trying to pick the lock but then I heard something and she was in pain and I kicked it open. She was on the floor, I was helping her up," Maggie said.

Alex could tell Maggie had stepped away from her by the sounds of her feet on the floor and her voice sounding a little farther away. Another hand touched her and she flinched.

"Are you ok?" Kara asked softly.

"I'm fine," Alex said pulling away from her. She hated that sound in her sister's voice, that quiet tone like if she spoke louder it would somehow hurt her worse.

"Maybe she should sit down," Maggie said.

"I'm fine."

"Really? Because you look like you are ready to collapse," Maggie said before looking at Supergirl. "And where were you when she was getting hurt? You are supposed to be the hero, where were you? And where is her sister right now? She shouldn't be here alone. She should be in a hospital. Why was she even allowed to leave the DEO in that condition?"

"Don't," Alex said fiercely. "Don't talk about me like I'm not standing here."

There was a moment of silence where all Alex heard was the sound of breathing.

"I'm sorry," Maggie said. She wanted to say more, but the sight of Alex standing there – barely standing there – was almost too much for her to take in. Of the parts of Alex's body she could see, it was like everything was covered in a scrape, cut or bruise. Her arm was in a sling, bruising along her neck and there was a bandage up above one eye.

It was her eyes that Maggie was drawn to. Those brown eyes that had lit up when Alex smiled now were open but the way they were darting from side to side like they were searching each time there was a noise, those eyes were almost too painful for Maggie to look at.

The vibrating of Alex's phone interrupted the silence that had descended once more.  
"Do you want me to get that?" Supergirl said.

"No," Alex said. She turned from them, moving slow toward a hallway that Maggie assumed led back to her bedroom. "You and Detective Sawyer can show yourselves out."

"Alex, I need to change your bandages," Supergirl said. "It was the condition you agreed to in order to be released from medbay."

Alex paused, but then continued her slow trek to the hallway. When she was a few steps from the hallway, she slowed even more, using her right hand to feel out in front of her. When she reached the frame she said, "Goodbye Detective." Using her hand to drag along the wall to find her way, she disappeared from sight.

Supergirl turned to Maggie, but it was Maggie who spoke first. "Look at her. She should be in a hospital," Maggie said.

"I know, but this is where she wants to be," Supergirl said. "Now if you'll excuse me."

Supergirl followed Alex back and Maggie continued to stand there a moment before walking out, closing the now broken door behind her.

Kara turned on the light in the bedroom when she entered. Alex was lying on the bed in the dark.

"Did she leave?"

"Yes."

"How did she know?"

"I ran into her today. She asked me where you were."

"You shouldn't have told her."

"Maybe I shouldn't have," Kara said. "But she was concerned. She cares, or else she wouldn't have kicked down the door to get to you."

Kara thought Alex was almost going to smile at that as she saw a slight movement of her lips.

"Don't tell anyone else. Please," she added.

"Ok," Kara said. "Why were you on the floor?"

"I fell."

She didn't offer up anything else and Kara didn't press her.

"Where is the stuff to change your bandages?"

"Where ever you put it at it when you brought me here last night."

Kara left the room and went back out to the main room. There was a small bag that she had left there last night when she brought Alex home. Everything that she had brought from the pharmacy was still in it. She grabbed it and returned to the bedroom.

"Why haven't you taken any of the antibiotics or pain pills?" Kara asked as she saw the packages were still in the bag.

Alex shrugged.

"You have to take them."

"Ok. I'll take some after we get the bandages changed," she said, sitting up. She lifted up the shirt with her good hand and arm.

Kara felt a wave of guilt flow through her as she saw her sister's battered body. Her shoulder had been separated, tearing a ligament that had required surgery. When the wall had collapsed on her, a piece of rebar had gone through her side. That was the bandage that she needed to change the most.

She began the process of changing it, trying to be careful so as not to hurt her.

"She's right you know," Kara said. "I should have been there. I should have been here on this Earth, instead of …"

"Could we do this in silence," Alex said.

Kara didn't say anything else the entire time she changed the bandages. When it was done, Kara was going to suggest Alex put on some other clothes as she was wearing the spare set she kept at her locker at the DEO and the same she had been wearing since she left there. Kara went and got a glass of water and returned to the bedroom.

She picked up the prescription bottles and got the antibiotics and pain pills out for Alex to take.

"I have your pills."

"Sit them there on the table," Alex said.

"You said you would take them."

"I will, I just don't want to take them on an empty stomach," she said.

"Oh," Kara said. "Have you eaten today?"

"No."

"Alex."  
"No lectures. I'm trying here, I just didn't think about things like being able to prepare meals when I can't see what …"

Alex stopped and Kara just watched her. She could see the frustration in her sister's features.

"Do you want me to go get you something?" Kara asked, putting the pills and the water on the bedside stand.

"Yeah, that would be great. Something light on the stomach like soup or something."

"Be back in a flash," Kara said and Alex heard her whoosh away.

Alex reached for the stand and felt for the pills. She found them and picked them up. She knew which was which from the shape, so she got the pain pills and placed them on the bed. Reaching for the water, she took the antibiotic.

The pain pills she hid between the mattress and box spring.

Getting up she felt her way out of the room and back to the couch, where she again hit the coffee table, but this time managed to stay upright.

Her entire body ached and she wished she could lie down and let oblivion take her, but even last night she couldn't sleep very long. Each sound she heard seemed louder even though she knew that probably wasn't the case – she was just concentrating on it more to make up for the loss of her sight.

When she heard the lock being picked she had gotten scared when she realized there was nothing she could do to protect herself, not really. Even if she had gotten to the knife, what would she have done with it?

It wasn't long before Kara returned with some soup for her.

"I took the pills."

"I thought you didn't want to take them on an empty stomach."

"I didn't, but I was in pain."

Kara prepared the soup for her, lying the bowl on the coffee table and handing Alex the spoon. She saw Alex's hand shaking some as she scooped each spoonful of soup and she wondered how much of that was from the pain and how much of it was nerves from having to be so careful with each one to make sure she didn't spill it, and spill some she did.

While Alex ate Kara rambled on, not wanting to sit in silence. Alex never commented about anything she said.

"Can I get you anything else?" Kara asked after she cleaned up after her.

"No, I'm just going to go to bed. The pain pills are kicking in."

"Ok. Um what do you want me to do about the door? I could stay here for the night."

"No. It'll be fine for the night. I will talk to the maintenance guy in the morning."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Alright, well, I guess I will head out then, but I'll come back in the morning before work, bring you some breakfast."

"Ok."

"Good night," Kara said. She left feeling worse than when she arrived. She knew Alex, knew when she was trying to put on a brave face, but in this case it wasn't working. In this case Kara could see the hurt, not just the physical hurt that was assailing her sister.

She agreed with Maggie, that Alex should still be in a hospital, but when Alex had asked her to take her home last night she couldn't say no. Alex had always been a source of strength for her; a rock that was always there for her but the truth was she had her doubts as to whether she could be that for Alex.

And maybe she wasn't the one that Alex needed right now.

…

Maggie sat at the bar and motioned for another shot. It wasn't her normal hangout. She didn't want to go someplace where anyone knew her or where she would think about playing pool with Alex.

But Alex was all she could think about it.

She called up the picture on her phone again.

Never before had she connected with a person like she had connected with Alex. The other woman just seemed to get her.

The way Alex had looked at her, yeah, she knew that look, but friendship was all she had to offer. She thought about her own journey to coming out and how much freer she had felt when she had accepted who she was and had the courage to let others know who she was.

She wanted Alex to feel that way – free.

But when Alex had kissed her, Maggie wasn't ready to accept that they could be anything other than friends. She didn't want the pressure of ushering Alex into this whole new world by being her girlfriend. Besides, she told herself, she was a shit girlfriend who wasn't able to keep anything going long term.

And she wanted Alex in her life long term and she saw friendship as the only route to make that happen.

The first few times they saw each other were awkward and while Maggie tried to act like all was well, Alex was not able to. When Maggie called her out on it Alex said it would be best if they kept things strictly professional going forward.

That was nearly three months ago.

They had seen very little of each other since then. Even at crime scenes they were at together, they managed to avoid each other as much as possible.

It had made Maggie miserable.

She wanted Alex in her life and while she maintained that when Alex kissed her that it wasn't right for them to be in a relationship – her having just gotten out of one and Alex having just come out – time had now passed and the feelings she knew she had for the DEO agent hadn't gone away.

When Supergirl had told her that Alex was hurt, that she was blind, her heart had ached. Then going to her apartment to check on her, hearing Alex crying out in pain through the door, she lost it – she had to get in there so yes she kicked in the door. Not her best move she could admit.

Then she had just been dismissed by Alex and what bothered her the most about it was how Alex had said 'goodbye detective.' It was said in such an unemotional tone and Maggie wondered if that was because Alex had closed herself off because of the injuries or because of her rejection.


	2. Chapter 2

This time the opening of the door had Alex on her feet without tripping.

"Relax, it's just me Danvers," Maggie said the next morning.

"What are you doing here?"

"I broke your door," she answered. "Seemed only fair that I have it fixed. Gary, this is Alex, Alex, Gary, he is here to fix the door."

"Hey," Alex heard a guy say.

She heard something heavy being put on the floor, which she assumed was Gary's tools to fix the door.

"How long?" she heard Maggie ask.

"Hour and a half tops," Gary said.

"Good," Maggie said.

"Sawyer," Alex said.

Maggie walked over to Alex, "Did you get any sleep last night?"

She could see the dark circles beginning to form under her eyes.

"What?"

"Sleep, did you get any last night? You look tired," Maggie asked. "And why are you still wearing your DEO clothes?"

"Um, I …," Alex closed her eyes, hard.

"Are you alright?" Maggie asked, placing a hand on Alex only for her to flinch like she had with Supergirl the night before. Maggie removed her hand quickly.

"You don't have to fix the door," Alex said. "We do have a maintenance man for the building."

"It is my fault it was broken so it is the least I can do," Maggie said. "Now seriously, the clothes. The day-old wrinkles really isn't the look you should be going for."

"What are you doing here?" Alex asked again.

"Do you have a concussion?" Maggie asked in return.

Alex moved around her, having to touch Maggie to make sure she could get around her. Maggie watched as she slowly moved toward the kitchen. When she saw the bottle of whiskey sitting open on the counter and Alex feeling around it, she moved quickly.

Alex got a hold of the bottle and took a drink.

"It's a little early in the morning for a drink."

"Really? And what time is it detective?"

"It's after 10."

Alex took another drink and Maggie grabbed the bottle from her hand. "Like I said, it's a little early for that."

"I can't tell if it is day or night, so why don't you hand that back to me."

"Sure," Maggie said, handing her the bottle. "Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to call your sister, and then your boss, and if I can figure out how to get a hold of her, I'm going to call Supergirl. Maybe you will listen to one of them."

"Don't," Alex said.

"Then put the bottle down."

Alex did it and Maggie immediately took it and poured it down the drain.

"Now the clothes," Maggie said.

"Are you going to toss those out too?"

"Don't tempt me Danvers," Maggie said. "Bedroom now. Change your clothes and then maybe we can talk about what I'm doing here."

"I'm going to my bedroom and when I come out, you better be gone, or it's your boss I will be calling to have you arrested for trespassing."

Alex moved around her, again having to feel her way through the process.

She knew she was moving slowly. She couldn't risk going fast because she might trip or fall down or do a dozen other things wrong. And she didn't want to do that – not in front of Maggie. She hadn't heard the detective move so she assumed she was still there watching her.

She got to her room finally and she closed the door behind her. She told herself she was only changing clothes because she had been wearing these for more than 24 hours and not because Maggie told her to.

It was a slow process though as she had to take off the sling first and then every movement caused her pain. She couldn't sleep last night. She had barely slept since she had been released from the medbay. She couldn't get comfortable and her body ached, it was why she had gotten the bottle of whiskey out after Kara had left that morning. She had hoped the alcohol would dull the pain and let her sleep.

Maggie's leg was bouncing up and down as she sat on the couch waiting for Alex to come back. She thought it was taking a long time and she had already gotten up once to go check on her but thought better of it.

She had taken the time to look around the apartment. There was a small bag with a bagel with cream cheese on it. It wasn't there last night so Maggie guessed that Kara or Supergirl stopped by that morning.

Supergirl – what was her deal? Why did Alex just let her fly in here like she owned the place, she wondered. She had tried not to think about Supergirl changing Alex's bandages.

Finally she heard the door to the bedroom open and she got to her feet as Alex came into view. Alex was wearing what appeared to be pajama pants and a T-shirt now, which didn't match but Maggie wasn't about to point that out to her.

When she told Alex to change clothes she hadn't really thought about the fact that Alex wouldn't be able to see what the clothes looked like before putting them on.

"You are still here, aren't you?" Alex said.

"I am."

"I told you to leave."

"Tough," Maggie said. "You are in no condition to be alone right now and since your sister and Supergirl appear to be MIA…"

"Kara was here before she went to work. She will be back at lunch and after work so I'm fine."

"You aren't fine, you look like you went 10 rounds with a semi truck and lost. Oh and you are blind."

"Out," Alex said pointing toward the door, well sort of the door.

Maggie had already warned Gary that she and Alex would probably be exchanging words and she was thankful he was wearing earbuds and hopefully tuning them out.

"I'm not going anywhere," Maggie said, crossing her arms. "You should be in a hospital, but if you are choosing to be stubborn then I'm choosing to stay right here."

She saw Alex move to a big chair and begin to feel around and finally get a hold of her phone. She used her fingerprint to unlock.

"Call Kara," she said giving the voice command to the phone and then putting it against her ear and turning slightly from Maggie.

"Alex, is everything ok?" Kara asked immediately upon answering.

"No. Detective Sawyer is here and she is refusing to leave."

"Why?"  
"I don't know, but I've asked her to leave a couple of times now and she is refusing."

Maggie walked over and took the phone from her and she felt bad about it because the move had obviously startled Alex. She would need to be more careful around her she realized quickly.

"Hi Kara. Yes, it's Maggie. Listen, the more I thought about it last night, the more I realized your sister shouldn't be alone here in her condition."

"Would you stop saying my condition," Alex said. "I'm well aware of my injuries."

"Anyway," Maggie said. "I have someone fixing her door as we speak and I got her to change clothes, although I'm sure she will argue that it had nothing to do with me. I told my boss I was taking some case files and working out of the office for a couple of days that way I can be here if Alex needs anything. So unless you or your pal Supergirl want to take the time off to be here, I'm staying."

"She's not going to want you being there," Kara said. "But you are right, she shouldn't be alone. Supergirl told me that Alex lied to her last night – said she had taken pain pills but x-ray vision and she could tell she hadn't. If you can get her to take them then I will make sure that she let's you stay although I can't promise you won't want to leave on your own."

"Deal."

"Ok, let me speak to her."

"She wants to speak to you," Maggie said. She waited for Alex to hold her hand out for the phone rather than touching her.

Maggie stepped away although she was curious as to what Kara could possibly say that would make Alex ease up on her.

"She's staying," Kara said.

"The hell she is," Alex responded. "Get over here now and remove her if you have to, I don't really care."

"Alex, you know I love you, but you can't do this alone."

"I can."

"You can't. And you shouldn't have to," Kara said. "You're in pain. Let someone take care of you for a change."

"Then you come over," she said quietly. It was almost the same kind of plea she had given Kara when she asked her to take her home from the DEO the other night.

There was a pause.

"I think this will be good for both of you," Kara said.

"No," Alex said.

Kara sighed. She didn't want to have to pull out the big guns but she felt she had no choice.

"Let her stay or when I hang up this phone my first call is to Eliza."

"You wouldn't dare."

"It's Maggie or mom, your choice."

"I hate you."

"Call me if you need anything," Kara said before hanging up.

Alex didn't say anything to Maggie, merely turned around and headed back toward her bedroom. Once there, she shut the door, hoping Maggie would get the message.

For her part, Maggie couldn't help but smile a little bit. Whatever little Danvers said must have worked because at least Alex wasn't telling her to get out.

It was probably the best she could hope for right now.

Maggie left Alex alone for a while, letting Gary complete his work on the door. She wanted nothing more than to go in there and comfort Alex, let her know she wasn't alone and that she'd always be there for her, but she also knew that Alex wasn't ready for such things.

When Gary left, she ordered a pizza and breadsticks and then opened her laptop case and pulled out her computer and the work files and arranged them on the coffee table. She hadn't been lying when she told Kara that she had told her boss she was working out of the office. He had allowed with the expectation that if anything major happened she would have to report in.

Once the pizza got there she knew it was time to get Alex.

It was unsurprising when she knocked on the door and Alex didn't answer. A part of her hoped Alex was asleep, given that she looked like sleep had been a luxury lately, but as soon as she opened the door she got a "go away" from her. Alex was lying on the bed staring up at the ceiling and not doing anything else as far as Maggie could tell.

"Come on Danvers, I ordered us a pizza," Maggie said.

"I'm not hungry."

"Fine, starve then."

When Alex didn't move or respond Maggie walked over to the bedside table where she saw the two pill bottles. She picked them both up, the noise at least causing Alex to sit up.

"When is the last time you took these?" Maggie asked. After all it was her part of the deal to get Alex to take the medicine. She could tell Alex was in pain from the way she held herself and the way she walked – it wasn't all the blindness, she had actual injuries under those clothes.

"A little while ago."

"Funny, I don't see any water in here that you would have used to take them," Maggie said. "Do you want to try again, this time without the lie?"

"Ok, how about it is none of your damn business."

"Fair enough," she said. "I'm going to take these with me and like I said, there is pizza out there if you decide you're hungry. I was getting ready to go through the case files I brought with me and I wouldn't mind your input if you are up to it."

Without waiting for a response – not that she expected one – she turned and left.

Sitting on the couch she opened the pizza box and began going over her first file.

In pure Danvers' stubbornness, it was nearly 45 minutes before Alex emerged.

Maggie had purposely sat on the end of the couch that would be the most logical route for Alex to get to.

"Other side," Maggie said when Alex got close enough. It caused Alex to pause and then reach down to make sure she knew where the coffee table was and then moved around it, touching it again to go around the other side before she made it to the couch and sat down.

Part of the reason she sat there was so she could observe Alex and her movements. Maggie had to admit that despite being blind Alex seemed to be navigating her apartment pretty well and she wondered if that was simply because she was familiar with her own place.

"Pizza box is right in front of you," Maggie said. "It's cold. If you wanted it hot you should have gotten out here sooner."

Alex said nothing as she felt for the box, opened it and got herself a slice.

"What are you working on?" Alex asked after she had taken a couple of bites.

"Let me get you a bottle of water to wash that down first and then I will tell you," Maggie said. By the time she returned, Alex was finishing off the first slice, proving that she was indeed hungry. She put the bottle down in front of Alex. "Water is right in front of you."

Once Alex had taken a drink, Maggie started talking about the case file she had been looking at. She started off by giving her the straight facts and then reading the witness interviews and describing some of the pictures. Occasionally Alex would ask her questions or ask her to reread something.

She shared her thoughts about it and Alex would chime in with her own.  
It almost felt normal.

Except it wasn't.

Alex was constantly shifting as if she couldn't get comfortable and also had the occasional yawn.

Maggie had gotten to her feet at some point and had been pacing while she was talking – it was a habit she had when she was working a case she was stuck on. She noticed that the farther away she got from Alex would cause her to tilt her head slightly as if trying to hear exactly where Maggie was at.

Once they were through with the first case file and Maggie cleaned up the pizza box, she went back to the couch and sat down.

"Hold out your hand."

Alex hesitated but she did it and Maggie dropped one antibiotic and two pain pills into her hand. Alex felt them but didn't take them.

"We both know you haven't taken any, so do us both a favor and take them," Maggie said. "Once you do, we can continue with my next case, which if I do say so myself is a doozy."

Alex said nothing but Maggie smiled when Alex swallowed the pills.

Maggie jumped right into the next case file.

It was over an hour in when Maggie noticed the yawning getting more consistent. She must be exhausted, Maggie thought. Since she didn't want to press her luck by suggesting that Alex go in the bedroom and sleep, Maggie continued the case file. Alex was currently having her go over one of the witness statements again.

"What are you thinking?" Maggie asked when Alex had an expression of deep concentration after she was done reading it out loud.

"Something is not adding up right about what he says happened, but I can't pinpoint why," Alex said.

"You think he is lying?"

"I don't know," she said, yawning once more. "Can you go over that first witness' statement again?"

"Sure," Maggie said, picking up the four-page narrative and beginning to read. She had again gotten up and was walking back and forth. By page two, she could tell Alex was fighting staying awake. By the end of page four, Maggie was again smiling as Alex had indeed fallen asleep, her head leaning back against the couch.

She knew she was risking waking her, but Maggie carefully pulled Alex over so she was lying down and tucked her feet up on the couch. Looking around she saw a blanket draped over the back of the chair and she grabbed it to place over the sleeping agent.

She looks peaceful, Maggie thought, as she watched Alex sleep for a few moments before she took a seat on the chair and continued her work. Before she did she sent a quick text message to Kara.

"My part of the deal is complete. Agent Danvers is fed, medicated and is currently taking a nap."

"Thank you."

"Thank you for giving me this chance."

"Just don't hurt her."

Maggie knew Kara didn't mean the physical kind of hurt.

"I won't. I promise."

She hoped it was a promise she could keep.

Alex had only been asleep for just over an hour when Maggie heard the first noise from her. It was a low kind of mumble and she jerked a little in her sleep. Maggie had been sitting in the chair with the laptop sitting on her, but she put it aside now and came closer to the couch.

There was another jerking motion and Alex's eyes opened, but she had no idea that Maggie was right there. She had frozen in place when Alex woke.

"Alex," she said keeping her voice low so as not to startle her. "Are you ok?"

Alex sat up, which continued to be a slow process for her, and she shut her eyes once more.

"Are you ok?" Maggie repeated.

"I'm fine."

Maggie wanted to point out that she was obviously not fine, but she didn't. She was walking on egg shells with Alex and she knew it, but she also knew she couldn't afford to mess this up. She had been given this opportunity to make things right.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No," Alex said. She stood up, moved around the coffee table and ended up bumping into it. She looked up at the ceiling – a gesture Maggie found odd since she knew there was nothing for her to see. "You wanna get me something, why don't you get this fucking table out of my god damn way. You know what, never mind I will do it myself."

Alex bent down and used her one good arm and hand to grip the end of the table and then she tilted it up and over, causing Maggie to move out of the way so it didn't hit her.

She didn't even get the chance to survey the damage to the glass top table as Alex was bent over at the knees, holding her midsection. Ignoring the broken glass she went over to Alex, tentatively placing a hand on her back. "Are you ok? Do we need to get you to a hospital?"

Alex shook her head no, but she also didn't make a move to get upright.

Maggie was worried not just about Alex's physical state but also her mental. She also felt like she couldn't say how she really felt, which was that Alex needed to stop being stubborn and either let her take her to the hospital or back to the DEO.

Alex stood back up, but Maggie kept a hand on her back, not sure Alex would be able to stay upright on her own. When Alex began to take a step forward, Maggie grabbed her and held her back.

"There is broken glass all around here. Why don't you lay back down while I get this cleaned up?"

Alex shrugged her off. "I want to go to my room," she said, her voice no longer filled with anger from her outburst. No, Maggie let her hands slip from her, as the voice she heard sounded defeated.

"Just take a wide step to your left and stay that way until you hit the chair and go around it."

Maggie watched as Alex took the route she had instructed her to. When she got to the hall, Maggie said, "I'm sure your friends at the DEO are working around the clock to get your sight back."

"There is no getting my sight back."

"Supergirl said they didn't know if was permanent or not."

"Yeah, well, I didn't want her feeling any more guilt than she probably already does for not being there," Alex said. "I asked them not to tell her that it was permanent. But she will find out sooner or later so I probably shouldn't have even bothered. My career at the DEO is over."

She didn't say anything else as she continued to her room. Maggie looked at the destruction of the coffee table and wished for a moment that it was whole once more so she could break it.

…

Maggie was sitting on the couch when there was a knock on the door. She got up to answer it, finding Kara there.

"How is she?" Kara asked as she walked in.

"She hasn't come out of her room since it happened."

Maggie had ended up calling Kara after she had cleaned up the coffee table – going as far as to take the now useless metal frame down to the dumpster. She told her what had happened and when she told her what Alex had said about it being permanent Kara had fallen silent, prompting Maggie to ask if Alex had also not told her that. Kara didn't respond, only saying she would be there right after work.

"Have you tried talking to her since?"

"I went in and took her some water and next dose of pills, which are probably still sitting there. At the time, she was just lying there staring at the ceiling," Maggie said. "I asked her if she needed anything and she shook her head no."

"Ok, I'll go talk to her," Kara said. "I'll stay here tonight, you can go."

"No," Maggie said immediately. "I didn't call you because I wanted to leave. I just thought as her sister you should know what was going on. I'm not leaving."

Kara took a moment to consider what she said. "Why are you here exactly? You and Alex haven't spoken in months. If this is some pity thing, she's not going to appreciate it."

"I'm here because I care about her," Maggie said. "Look, I get it, I hurt her but I only did what I thought was best for the both of us at the time. I'm here now though and I want to help in anyway I can. I need to know she's going to be ok."

"She's not ok," Kara said.

"No she isn't."

"I'll go talk to her," Kara said again. "If you want to go for a walk or a ride or something, I'll stay for at least an hour. Give you a little break at least."

"Ok," Maggie said, figuring she should let the sisters have some time together. She grabbed her jacket deciding a walk would do her good.

Kara knocked on the door and then entered when Alex remained silent. Again, the lights were off but Alex was sitting up on the bed her knees hugged to her chest so she knew she was awake. She didn't turn on the light, instead got up on the bed and sat beside her sister. She put her arm around her and Alex put her head on her shoulder.

They sat like that for several minutes.

"Did she leave?"

"Just for a bit. She'll be back."

"I don't want her here. I don't want her to see me like this. You should have made her leave."

"Do you want to tell me what happened to the coffee table? Or maybe why you didn't tell me this was permanent?"

"I kept running into it, the coffee table and I got angry. Before that Maggie was, we were going over some of her case files. She was just reading the stuff to me or talking about it and I was asking her questions and we were discussing the cases and it felt … it almost felt normal. Then I must have fallen asleep and when I got up I hit that stupid coffee table and I lost it. I …" she said trailed off and took a deep breath. "It was stupid I know."

"You have every right to be upset," Kara said.

Alex lapsed back into silence. Kara wasn't sure how long they stayed like that but finally Alex shifted positions. "You should probably check my bandages," Alex said. "That side wound really hurt when I trashed the coffee table."

Kara got up and turned on the light first and watched as Alex sat on the edge of her bed.

"Alex, you're bleeding," she said rushing to her. There was a small patch of blood on her sister's shirt right where the puncture wound was. Not waiting on Alex she lifted the shirt and removed the bandage which also had soaked through blood on it. "It looks like you tore some stitches."

"Of course I did," Alex said punching the bed.

"It's not too bad," Kara replied. "I mean it's not much blood and that happened hours ago. Still we should get you back to the medbay for a patch job."

Alex sighed, "can you at least find me some decent clothes to wear?"

…

Maggie sat on Alex's couch wondering when or if she would be returning that night. She had been out walking when Kara called to tell her that she was taking Alex to the DEO medbay because she had torn some stitches. Maggie had wanted to go too but Kara said they couldn't wait for her to get back although she assured Maggie it wasn't serious.

Still Maggie felt like an idiot for not checking herself when Alex had done it. She was so worried about overstepping her bounds with Alex when she should have been checking more closely to ensure she hadn't hurt herself.

She felt like she was failing at this.

Or maybe her timing was just off. It would be the story of her and Alex so far. Maybe coming here while Alex was so angry was the wrong move.

It was nearing midnight when the door finally opened and Maggie was on feet and coming over.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"I'm good," Alex said, her voice slurring more than a little bit as she hung on to her little sister. "I broke a nose. I'm a badass."

"Oh wow, you're drugged up," Maggie said.

"They may have given her some extra pain meds," Kara said. Alex slumped more onto Kara. "And maybe a sedative."

"Here let me," Maggie said, swapping places with Kara and directing Alex into the bedroom where Kara pulled back the blankets while Maggie gently put Alex down.

"It's dark in here," Alex laughed.

"Yes, that means it is time to go nighty night."

"Night," Alex said, and as she closed her eyes, the two other women backed out slowly, Maggie being the last as she paused at the doorway to get one more glimpse of Alex.

"Is she ok? What was that about a broken nose? And why didn't she stay there if they were going to dope her up so much?" Maggie asked when they returned to the main room.

"They stitched her back up, it wasn't that bad they said, but then they wanted to examine her eyes again and she sort of lashed out the doctor and ended up breaking his nose when he suggested she calm down. After that they gave her the sedative," Kara said. "But she was insistent that she didn't want to stay there so I brought her back."

"Did the doctor look at her eyes?"

Kara nodded yes.

"And?"

"And nothing. It's permanent."

Maggie didn't want to believe it, but somehow Kara saying it made it seem more real.

"What now?"

"I don't know," Kara said. "Alex has always been the one to watch out for me, she is always the one who knows what to do. I feel useless."

"You aren't useless," Maggie said. "You got her to the DEO and got her patched up again. She was always going to need you no matter what, the fact this happened to her doesn't change that. Now go home. I'm sure you have work in the morning."

"Text me and let me know how she is doing when she wakes up."

"I will."

Kara surprised her by hugging her. "She's going to need you too," Kara said softly. "Even if she doesn't know it yet."


	3. Chapter 3

Maggie was asleep on the couch when a noise woke her. She sat up quickly and reached for the lamp and turned it on.

She blinked a couple of times as her eyes adjusted. Then she got to her feet and headed in the direction of the noise.

"What are you doing up?" Maggie asked Alex who was in the kitchen. She knew Alex had heard her coming as Alex had turned in her direction for a moment.

"Couldn't sleep," Alex said.

Maggie saw that Alex had a glass in her hand and she was feeling around – obviously searching to turn the water on and get something to drink. She didn't offer her any help, letting Alex handle it on her own. It would have been simple for her to assist, but she didn't want Alex thinking that she thought it wasn't something she could handle.

Once she found the faucet she filled her glass up – a little too much, but she dumped some water out of the glass before taking a drink.

"I thought for sure you would be out until morning," Maggie said. "You were drugged up really good."

"Guess the doctor should have given me a bigger dose so when I moved in my sleep I didn't feel anything."

"Maybe you shouldn't have broken his nose and he would have."

"I broke his nose?"

Maggie chuckled, "yes you did."

Alex took another drink and then put the glass down and rubbed her forehead.

"Did you wake because you moved or because you were dreaming?" Maggie asked. She had thought back to that afternoon when Alex had woken on the couch, obviously shaken a bit before her outburst.

Alex turned back to the sink and dumped out her remaining water and placed the glass back down next to the sink. She moved to her right and felt along the cabinets until she got to the last one and reached inside. Pulling out a bottle that Maggie could barely make out what it was in the poor light that she had to see by but she knew it was alcohol. She cursed herself for not checking all the cabinets earlier.

"Come on Alex, you can't be drinking that."

"Do you want me to answer your question? If so, I get to have a drink."

Maggie weighed her options and knew that drinking was the last thing Alex should be doing.

"Ok, but just one drink," Maggie said.

Alex twisted off the cap and felt for her glass again and carefully poured in what Maggie now could tell was bourbon.

"That's enough," Maggie said as it was getting too high for her tastes. Alex felt around for the discarded cap but not finding it immediately she gave up and sat the bottle down. Maggie sighed and then opened the cabinet nearest to her and pulled out a glass and poured her own drink.

"At least let's sit on the couch," Maggie suggested.

They went over there, Maggie getting there first and moving the blanket she was using out of the way. Alex took a seat and then Maggie sat down.

Alex was leaning back, the glass held in her right hand for a moment before she took a drink. She took one more drink before she spoke.

"I can still see when I dream," Alex said. "I never really thought about it you know. Can blind people dream? It sounds silly to say it because everyone dreams, so why wouldn't blind people dream."

This time it was Maggie who took a drink. "What were you dreaming about?"

"I keep thinking about what happened. What I could have done differently," Alex said. "Where was the break down in our intel?"

Maggie wanted to stop her and ask what exactly happened as she had clearly only gotten a condensed version from Supergirl. She remained silent however not wanting to interrupt Alex for fear that she would stop.

"I mean how could I not think about it. But when I sleep it's different. I see the alien we were on the hunt for and it's right there in front of me and then it raises its hand and I knew what it was capable of. We were all wearing protective glasses that would shield our eyes, but when the other alien attacked me mine were knocked off. I had read up on this species so I knew it used light in a way that made it a tangible thing. Yet, in those few seconds I couldn't do anything and then there was this brightness. It was white and it was too bright, too intense. And that is how the dream begins."

She paused and took another fuller drink, almost draining the glass.

"Then everything after that is darkness. But I feel things. I feel this pain and this weight on top of me. I don't remember being under that building debris, but in my dreams, I think I do. The only way I can process it though is with feeling like I'm trapped. The roughness of the building materials as they press against my skin. The sound of the rescue team. The smell of broken concrete. The corded rebar that went through me. Hell, I even think I can hear the sound of my blood dripping. And I don't want to be there and so I wake up and I'm here but everything is still dark. A part of me wants to sleep so I can see again even if it is just a dream, but the other part doesn't want to ever sleep because I don't want to feel the things I feel when I'm dreaming."

This time she did down what little was left in her glass.

Maggie reached out and touched Alex's arm only to get the same reactions before –a flinch, but this time Alex dropped the empty glass.

"Sorry," Maggie said as she got up and picked up the glass, while still holding her own. She took a quick couple of drinks to finish hers off.

"I don't suppose you'll pour me another drink?" Alex said.

"I don't think that is a good idea. I shouldn't have let you have this one."

"Even if I say pretty please."

"You're cute Danvers, but you aren't that cute," Maggie said.

"I'm sure I look real cute," she said, leaning her head back against the couch. "But hey what's a few more scars. Just one more thing I have to lie to people about."

Maggie could tell Alex was slipping back into a dark mood, even more so than when she was speaking about dreaming. At least then she sounded introspective. Now she sounded defeated once more.

"I'm sorry this happened to you," Maggie said. She didn't really know what to say. Seeing Alex like this was making the ache in her chest grow exponentially. She wanted the smiling Alex from that photo to be here with her. The one who used to be happy to see her.

Alex stood up. "You should probably get back to sleep, sorry for waking you."

"I'm awake now if you want to stay and talk."

"No, I want to sleep and see my dreams."

…

Maggie was up early the next morning after not sleeping well. She showered and changed clothes and then went to check on Alex, again hoping she was sleeping. As she knocked on the bedroom door, she got a "give me a few minutes." She began to back away from the door when she heard Alex speak again but clearly she was not speaking to her.

It was muffled but she thought she heard Alex say something about it not being a good time to come over. She couldn't say for sure that is what was said, but she wondered who Alex was speaking to nonetheless. From what she had observed Alex didn't appear to be up for anyone calling or stopping by.

Walking away from the door Maggie waited for Alex to emerge – it still took nearly 20 minutes before she walked out to the main room and Maggie could tell that if Alex got anymore sleep last night it wasn't much. If nothing else, she even seemed to be more stiff than the day before.

"I made pancakes," Maggie said.

"Where did you get the stuff to make pancakes?" Alex asked.

"I sent Kara a text this morning, asked her to drop off a few things," Maggie said. "Since you redecorated yesterday, we will have to have breakfast at the table."

Maggie watched as Alex, who was still wearing the clothes from last night, slowly walked to the table, feel around for the chair and then take a seat. Again, Maggie was impressed with how well Alex seemed to be getting around.

"You didn't have to do this," Alex said.

"I know."

"I mean any of this," she continued. "I don't need a babysitter. I appreciate it though, don't get me wrong, but making breakfast and fixing the door – these are things that … that I'm going to have to learn to do on my own. I have to learn to do these things as … as a blind person. I think after breakfast you should go back to work."

Maggie could tell even saying the words were like a struggle for her. She reached across and put her hand on top of Alex's, gripping it when she felt Alex try to pull back.

"Yes, you are going to have to learn to do things as a blind person. And no you don't need a babysitter," Maggie said. "I don't know how this whole going blind thing works or what it is even like for you, but one thing I do know is you don't have to do this on your own. You have people who care about you, I care about you, and do I expect it will be easy, no, but that doesn't mean I intend to just walk away."

Alex took a deeper intake of breath before pulling her hand away. "Why are you even here? We haven't spoken in …"

"I know," Maggie said. "It's not like I didn't want to talk to you, I just didn't know how to approach you or if you would even be willing to talk to me after what happened but when Supergirl told me that you were injured, all I could think about was making sure you were ok."

"I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity," Maggie said. "Like I said, I care about you, a lot. And you can keep trying to push me away or get me to leave, but I'm not going anywhere. You are in pain. You may not want to give voice to it, or admit it, but you have to be hurting from those wounds. Again, you don't have to do it alone."

After a small pause, Alex said. "We should eat before the pancakes get too cold."

They ate breakfast and Maggie had Alex take her pills after finishing the meal. She was glad Alex took them without protest or comment.

"I have a few more case files if you want to go over them," Maggie said, while she cleared the dishes.

Alex didn't answer and Maggie stopped what she was doing and watched Alex as she seemed to be staring at the wall.

"This is probably going to sound stupid, but are you ok?" Maggie asked as Alex's staring contest with the wall continued on.

"Can I ask your opinion about something?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything?" Maggie responded as she took her seat once more. "What is it?"

There was a long pause but Maggie didn't say anything as she could tell Alex was thinking about what to say. She hoped Alex wouldn't change her mind about speaking to her.

"You being here, does that mean you want to be friends?" Alex asked.

This time it was Maggie's turn to speak carefully. While she had been thinking about how she would like to be more than friends with Alex, she also knew now wasn't the right time for that. Then again, she wasn't really sure Alex wasn't asking her this because she still wanted to be more.

"I know things went badly between us," Maggie started. "and we haven't spoken in a while, but yes, I want to be here for you, and not just because of what happened to you. I swear, I was thinking of contacting you even before this, I just didn't know what to say to you. I didn't know if you were still angry with me."

Alex bit her lip and Maggie held her breath as she waited for a response.

"I shouldn't have gotten angry."

"It's ok," Maggie said immediately. "I understand why you reacted that way. I shouldn't have let it linger between us for this long."

"No, that's on me. I'm the one who pushed you away."

"Well, regardless of who is to blame, we are talking now," Maggie said. She smiled even though she knew Alex couldn't see it. This was progress – more progress than she expected when she woke up this morning. "So is that all you wanted to ask?"

"No," Alex said. "I just wanted to establish that we are friends first."

"We are friends," Maggie agreed. She figured it was a better starting point than where they had been. And with what happened to Alex, jumping into anything was a bad idea. But building up from a friendship was definitely doable. "Whatever else you wanted to bring up, go ahead."

Alex took a deeper breath before speaking. "Before this happened, I was seeing someone – dating someone. Her name is Cassie and I don't know how to tell her about this. She thinks I was away – out of town – on a case. I use the FBI cover with her. But she knows I'm home now, and I don't know what to say to her."

Maggie was overly aware of her own exhale as Alex finished speaking. "Oh," she managed to say, even as she wanted to immediately get out of the chair and … well, she didn't know what she wanted except she didn't want to hear about whoever this Cassie was. But she had just told Alex they were friends and Alex was clearly wanting to know Maggie's opinion about what to do.

"Are things serious between the two of you?" Please say no, Maggie thought.

When Alex shrugged she felt a fraction of a percent better. "I don't really know," Alex said. "She is the only woman I've gone out with more than twice. But I don't know that we are girlfriends. She and I hadn't really talked about it before this. I sort of thought that we would after you know, but then this all went south."

"Do you like her? I mean do you want her to be your girlfriend?"

Another shrug. "I can't even think about such things right now. I don't even know how to tell her that I'm blind. She wanted to come over tonight and I told her it wasn't a good time, but I can't blow her off forever."

Maggie realized that Cassie must have been who she heard Alex speaking to earlier. She also wondered if this was another reason Alex had told her she should go back to work.

"If you want to be her girlfriend or not, you are going to have to at some point talk to her about this," Maggie said. "Like I said before, I can't imagine how hard this is on you. But I also know you are a good person which means speaking to her and not blowing her off."

"I hate that I feel like my whole life is one lie after another," Alex said. "How can I ever get close to someone when I can't tell them what I do for a living? I can't tell them how I got these scars. I can't tell them how I ended up being blind."

As much as Maggie didn't want to continue this conversation, she could tell that this was weighing on Alex. She remembered the night before when Alex had mentioned about this being one more thing she had to lie about.

"You will figure it out Alex," Maggie said. "Just remember that whatever you do, you need to feel comfortable with it. It's not just about her. This is about you too. You need to think about yourself and yes maybe that seems selfish, but you have to be true to yourself."

There was another pause in conversation as Alex seemed to consider her words.

"I'm going to go lay down," Alex said finally. "Maybe we could go over the cases later."

"Sure," Maggie said. As Alex left the room, Maggie continued to sit there, thinking about what an idiot she was. Of course, Alex wasn't sitting around the last few months pining over her. Of course, she would want to take her newly discovered gay status out for a test drive.

And Cassie. She said Cassie was the only one she had gone out with more than twice, which means there had been other women. But Cassie was the only one that Alex was considering how to tell her about her blindness, which meant they had some level of relationship even if they hadn't talked about it.

A part of her wanted to walk out the door but she knew she couldn't. She had come here because she was concerned about Alex, and that hadn't changed. She couldn't leave and that meant she needed to be the friend that Alex needed her to be.

Poor timing, Maggie thought once more. It was the very definition of her and Alex.

After moping for awhile she got up and distracted herself by doing the dishes. When finished she went to Alex's room and paused outside, listening. She didn't hear anything and even when she knocked lightly she got no response. She thought about walking away, but instead she slowly opened up the door only to find Alex asleep on her bed.

Staying by the door she watched Alex for several minutes as she slept. At least she looked like she was in a deep sleep. She closed the door hoping it stayed that way.


	4. Chapter 4

Alex opened her eyes with a quick exhale of breath. Was it another nightmare, an errant sound or another ache that had woken her, she didn't know, but the opening of her eyes was enough to bring it all back to the forefront of her mind.

Sitting up, she felt those aches more acutely. She had been injured on missions before, but even without her eyesight she felt like this one was different. She wasn't even sure why, just that it all was weighing on her more than any of her previous injuries.

If this had been like any other time she would have returned to work already even with her arm in a sling. She would have bullied her way into the lab to do work at the very least.

Everything about her life was different now.

She didn't even know what time it was in order to know if she had slept long. She didn't feel particularly well rested and should probably just lay back down but her head also ached. She seemed to have a constant headache now and she wondered if that was related to her concussion or what happened to her eyes.

Reaching for her phone, which she had managed to plug into the charger on her own, she unlocked it and asked what time it was. When the phone responded that it was only 10:43 a.m. she nearly threw it across the room.

She hadn't been asleep long at all.

Tossing the phone down on the bed, she got out of bed slowly, each movement hurting. The injuries plus her inactivity had made her entire body feel stiff.

Well, she thought, a stiff body deserves a stiff drink.

Now she just had to hope Maggie hadn't thrown out the rest of her stash and that she wouldn't stop her from having one or two.

Maggie. She still wasn't sure why Maggie was being insistent about being here. She knew after all the time that passed that any interactions she had with her would be awkward and this situation made it even worse.

She had tortured her own mind over and over again since that night she had kissed Maggie and then been rejected. Just friends – that was all Maggie had wanted from her and based on their conversation this morning that was all she still wanted from her.

But she had missed Maggie too. Missed their time together. No one had ever made her feel like Maggie did.

When she had first woken up in medbay and discovered her sight gone she had begun thinking about all the things she would never see again. Maggie's smiles and those dimples had been one of the things she had thought of.

She hadn't thought of Cass at all, except in terms of how to now deal with her.

They had gone on several dates now but Alex wasn't sure she felt anything for her beyond maybe friendship. She had needed to get out there and date though and it was happenstance that she and Cass had met – much like how she met Maggie.

Honestly, she hadn't given Cass a second thought after first meeting her, but Alex had given her the fake FBI card she used for business purposes and was surprised when Cass had called her to ask her out for drinks. Alex had hesitated, having been caught off guard by the asking, but had agreed.

Their first date if it could be called that had gone well, as both women had found plenty of things to talk about – although Alex was always mindful of each lie she had to tell. Usually, she would use the standard "top secret" and "I can't talk about it," kind of lines, but if she hadn't been pretending to be an FBI agent at the time she wouldn't have met Cass.

Just like she wouldn't have met Maggie if it hadn't been for their jobs.

"Fuck it," she said to herself, whether Maggie was there or not, she was going to have a drink.

She opened the door and immediately heard typing stop and another sound, she wasn't quite sure what it was before hearing Maggie say, "What are you doing up, you've barely slept."

Alex didn't respond, just reached out for the wall, letting her fingers barely touch it to establish her bearings and began to walk. She got to the end of the small hallway and turned toward the kitchen, going slow and mentally counting her steps. She heard Maggie move behind her somewhere.

The more she moved, the more her headache seemed to increase, so she went a little quicker, reaching the counter and feeling around for the bottle they used last night. Not feeling it anywhere, she turned toward Maggie whom she heard move closer to where Alex was fairly sure she was now standing right outside the kitchen area.

"Where is the bottle?"

There was a slight rustling of clothes, perhaps Maggie had shifted her weight or crossed her arms Alex thought.

"Danvers, we've been over this. I shouldn't have let you have that one drink last night."

The pain in her head was getting worse and she couldn't figure out why it had increased so much from just leaving her room.

"I don't care," Alex said, with more force than she had intended. "This isn't your place and you have no right to be here or dictate what I do."

"I'm not going to let you drown your sorrows in a bottle of bourbon either," Maggie said. "You know you can't be drinking when you are on pain medication."

"The pills aren't working."

"What do you mean?"

"Just tell me where the bottle is or I will find it myself." The pain was moving from her head to right behind her eyes and she closed them. She didn't want to open them back up – not just because of her eyesight, but the pain was preventing it.

"It hurts," she said, the pain in her head and eyes now making her nauseous. It was so distracting she didn't hear Maggie move closer to her, but she felt a gentle touch on her arm that still managed to make her flinch.

"Come on, let's get you over to the couch," Maggie said softly.

She let Maggie lead her, feeling like lying down might be her best option right now. They got out of the kitchen and turned toward the main room but as they did the pain flared up, forcing Alex to cover her already closed eyes with the palms of her hands, more pain barely registering from her shoulder from the strain she was putting on it, but she didn't care, she just needed her eyes to be covered.

"Alex, Alex, what's wrong?" Maggie asked. But Alex wasn't answering so Maggie tried to get her moving again toward the couch, but they got only halfway there when Alex collapsed to her knees, crying out in pain this time.

"My eyes," she choked out. "They're burning."

Maggie ran to where she left her phone on the couch and dialed Kara's number as she went and knelt beside Alex who was doubled over now, gasping from the pain and keeping her eyes shielded.

"Kara, something is wrong with Alex," Maggie said, not giving her a chance to even give a simple greeting. "She's in a lot of pain. It's her eyes, she says they're burning. I think we need to get her back to the DEO or a hospit…"

She didn't even finish the sentence when Supergirl came flying in. She didn't wait for an explanation from Maggie, only picked up Alex and flew right back out.

Maggie stood up, looking at her phone and then at the window that Supergirl just left from. Her call had ended anyway and she knew there was only one place Supergirl would be taking Alex and she was out the door a few moments later.

….

Maggie was not pleased when she got to the DEO and was forced to wait until they gave her clearance to come in. Winn finally came up to get her and escort her.

"How is she?" Maggie asked.

"I don't know," Winn said. "Supergirl brought her in and she's been in the medbay ever since, but no one has come out to give any sort of update yet."

They were walking at a brisk pace and when they reached the medbay, J'onn and Supergirl were there waiting outside – J'onn leaning against a wall and Supergirl pacing.

Maggie walked right up to her, causing the girl of steel to stop, "hello Kara."

She had put two and two together on her way over and felt more than a little foolish that she hadn't seen it before – that Kara and Supergirl were the same person.

Kara glanced at J'onn who merely shrugged. Maggie learning her secret identity seemed minor now.

"We don't know anything yet," Kara said to her.

"Can you tell us what happened?" J'onn asked.

Maggie explained as best she could what happened, but she didn't know that any of it was helpful. All she knew was Alex was in a lot of pain and it had something to do with her eyes.

"You all should never have let her out of the medbay in the first place," Maggie said. "What were you even thinking?"

"We were thinking Alex needed to be a familiar setting that might bring her some comfort," J'onn said. "And that's on me. I thought since she knew how to navigate her own apartment that it might makes things easier on her."

Maggie had to admit Alex did move around her place with surprising ease. Still, Alex was probably just as familiar with the DEO as she was her own home.

"She shouldn't have been left unsupervised," Maggie continued. "What if I hadn't have been there?"

"But you were there detective, and we are all grateful for that," J'onn said.

Maggie wanted to tell him where he could stick his gratitude but refrained. She knew she was running on emotions at this point – her fear over Alex causing her to lash out at any available target. And now that she knew Supergirl was Kara, she had to ask.

"Where were you? When she was buried under some building, where were you?"

Kara again looked at J'onn who merely said, "tell her."

What Maggie wasn't expecting was the story that unfolded next – one about alternate earths and traveling between them to help another superhero. She also realized the guilt Kara felt over it. She had been helping others so she wasn't there to help her own sister.

By the time Kara was done telling the story, she had tears in her eyes, so Maggie did the only thing she could think of – something she was sure Alex would do in her place – she hugged Kara tight to her.

There were no words once they separated.

Both women took seats next to Winn who also appeared unwilling to leave this vigil until there was some update.

They didn't wait much longer as the doctor came walking out and went up to J'onn.

"She's heavily sedated," the doctor said. "We're going to keep her that way for the next 24 hours while we run some more tests. She was in so much pain that we couldn't get a clear idea as to what all her symptoms were, but the pain seemed centered on her eyes. So far, we have found no cause for it."

"I want updates every hour," J'onn said.  
"Can I go see her?" Supergirl asked before looking over at Maggie. "Can we go see her?"

"Yes, but you will need to keep it brief," the doctor said.

Supergirl led the way and when they saw her, Maggie's first thought was that despite it all, Alex was still beautiful. Supergirl took Alex's hand in hers and leaned over and kissed her forehead. "You're going to be ok," she heard Supergirl say. "You have to be. I can't do this without you. I need my big sister."

Kara moved out of the way for Maggie, who asked her if she could have a moment in private. She knew it was probably unfair of her to ask but Kara still granted it.

"Hey Danvers," Maggie said, trying and failing at sounding casual. She didn't know what to say though. Mirroring Kara's actions she took a hold of Alex's hand and leaned over – but instead of kissing her on the forehead, she kissed her on the lips.

"Maybe one of these days, we will get our timing in sync," Maggie said. "Or maybe we can get your DEO science geek friends to invent a time machine and we can go back to that night and this time I won't throw away my chance. You just hang in there until then."

The doctor came in and Maggie merely nodded at him before walking out. This time she went straight over to J'onn.  
"I want to know about this mission she was on and about the alien who did this to her."

"Ok, detective."


	5. Chapter 5

Maggie read over all the mission reports twice at a work station that Winn set her up on. This alien they had been hunting was one from this space prison that had landed on Earth. It was the only one of its kind on the prison when it crashed – another one having died earlier, according to the report.

They hadn't been able to recover all the data from Fort Rozz and it would appear part of that missing data included whatever this alien had been sentenced for in the first place. There was information however including its picture and a listing of its power – a rare ability to manipulate light.

The reason it had gotten on the DEO radar was because it had apparently used that ability to raid an urgent care clinic. A doctor, two nurses and an orderly had been injured – none were blind like Alex as the alien had not used its power that way. Instead it had relied on its brute strength.

Why it had hit the clinic was also a bit of mystery as the alien's physiology was not conducive to human medicine from what little Alex had been able to cull together.

But the DEO couldn't let the alien roam free if it posed a danger which is why they had gone after it.

The reason they had been caught off guard was because they were expecting this alien to be alone. All the data they had on them showed that they were loners.

The alien was called a K'artr – not one Maggie was familiar with or had ever heard of before. At least she now had something to work with though. The DEO team had its hands full when the building had collapsed that the alien had escaped.

Maggie knew there was nothing she could do to help Alex here, so it was time to start hitting up her contacts to find out more about this K'artr and where it was at now.

Getting up from the station, she went over to Winn.

"Is this all you have on the alien, nothing since this mission?" Maggie asked.

"Nothing. It's like it's gone underground. We've had no reports or sightings," he said.

She nodded. "I need to go. Will you call me with any updates to her condition?"

"Of course," he said, and they quickly exchanged phone numbers.

She was walking out when Supergirl came up behind her.

"You're going after the alien that hurt her, aren't you? If you are, I want in," Supergirl asked.

"No."

"Super hearing – I heard you ask Winn if there was any news on it since the mission," she responded. "And you just spent more than an hour going over everything the DEO has on it."

Maggie stopped walking and faced her. "First of all, you shouldn't listen in on other people's conversations," she said. "Secondly, I am not going after it, at least not in the way appear to be suggesting. That didn't work so well for Alex now did it?"

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'm going to do my job, which means investigating, gathering information, finding out what I can about this alien and hopefully coming up with a location for it. This isn't some going off half-cocked kind of situation. This alien is clearly dangerous, but we also don't know enough about it," Maggie said. "We don't know why it hit that clinic. We don't know why it was apparently working with another alien – an alien the DEO hasn't even identified yet. I'm a detective, this is what I do – I get answers. I don't need someone who is looking for revenge at my side while I'm doing it. Let me do my job and you stay here and do yours – the one you do without the cape. Be Kara. Be her little sister."

"Fine, but if you find it …"

"The DEO will be my first call. I'm not looking to take it on by myself. And you don't breathe a word of this to Alex."  
Maggie started to walk away and then turned again. "Kara, you might want to keep an eye on Alex's phone. Cassie called her this morning, wanted to come see her, but Alex told her it wasn't a good time. I think she wanted to figure out what exactly to tell her first. I'm not saying you should tell her about all of this, but she's going to worry if she doesn't hear from Alex."

"She told you about Cass?"

"Yeah," Maggie said. "That's the kind of things friends do, talk about the people in their lives."

She wanted to choke on the word friends, but that is all she and Alex were.

"I don't think she and Alex are that serious," Kara said.

"I don't really know," Maggie said. "But Alex was clearly worried about how to tell her about her eyes, so she should be given some consideration."

Maggie cut off the conversation after that and left. She needed to get out on the streets, making contact with her sources – anything to keep her mind off of the pain Alex was in before Supergirl brought her here.

…

Kara watched her sister as she slept. The doctor had taken her off the medication that was keeping her sedated, but she hadn't woken up yet.

The only lights on in the room were those from the monitors, but Kara didn't need those monitors as her hearing had been tuned to the steady beat of her heart since she came in there.

When she did wake up, Kara was unsure of how to talk to her about what the doctor had told her. She had told J'onn she would take care of it as neither of them figured she would take it well.

She hadn't heard from Maggie since she had left the DEO. Kara had spent most of last night flying around the city, trying to find the alien that had done this to her sister, but had come up empty. It wasn't the first time she had gone looking for the K'artr.

When she had returned from that other Earth, it had been after Alex had already been pulled from the rubble and was in surgery. J'onn had filled her in on what happened and the guilt she felt was nearly overwhelming. If she had only been there then maybe this would never have happened.

But it had happened and that first night Alex was in the hospital she had kept a vigil like this.

Then the night she had taken Alex back home and left her there, she had gone out on a hunt. She hadn't wanted to leave Alex that night but Alex had sent her away. She had gone to the site of the collapse – seen the rubble that was left.

While it was the Danvers that had taken her in all those years ago, it was always Alex that had made her feel like Earth could be her home.

A part of her hoped that Maggie found the K'artr before she did because she wasn't sure what she would do if she found him first.

Alex's head moved to the left, and Kara leaned forward, but she sat back a moment later when there were no further movements. The doctor said it could be hours before Alex woke and it had already been a couple of hours.

Winn brought her some food after another hour and it was shortly after she was done eating, Alex moved again. Kara again leaned forward in anticipation. It was another few minutes before Alex opened her eyes, blinking several times before keeping them open.

"Maggie?"

"No, it's me," Kara said, reaching for her hand.

"Kara, what happened?"

"You don't remember? You were at your apartment and you were in pain, you said your eyes hurt."

Alex pulled her hand away from Kara's and rubbed her forehead. "Yeah, I remember now," Alex said. "What did the doctor say happened?"

It was so like Alex to jump right into it, Kara thought. When the doctor had first updated her and J'onn about the results of all of their testing, Kara had thought they had to be wrong. And she was certain Alex would also disagree with their assessment.

"Nothing," Kara said.

Alex sat up in bed, wincing as she did so and off kilter as she only had the one arm to use to prop herself up. They had taken her sedation as an opportunity to check all her wounds and rebandage any that needed it. Her shoulder was once again taped up and secure as Alex had managed to tear the other tape job when she was trying to block her eyes.

She had been conscious during the flight to the DEO and Kara had be even more careful with her as Alex wouldn't stop moving in her arms.

By the time they arrived, Alex was still in pain and they almost immediately sedated her. The way Alex had been, Kara had expected to see some difference in her eyes – maybe even just some redness, but they looked as they always did.

That was one of her first thoughts when Alex had woken up blind. She knew it was stupid, but she had thought how could her sister possibly be blind when her eyes looked the same.

"You mean they haven't found a cause for it yet," Alex said.  
"No, there was no cause for it," Kara said. "There is nothing wrong with your eyes, I mean beyond, what happened before."

"What do you mean?"

"The doctor called it psychosomatic," Kara said. "That the injuries you already had were …"

"I know what psychosomatic means," Alex cut her off. "It means the doctor thinks I'm crazy."

"That's not what he said."

"No, I'm sure he said something about the stress of my situation triggering an episode where I created more pain for myself."

"Something like that."

"Well, he's an idiot," Alex said. "And I'm not going to stay here under his care." She started to get out of bed, but Kara stopped her.

"You have to stay here," Kara said. "At least for a couple of days. They are going to run more tests and they're going to figure this out."

"Forget that," Alex said.

"Alex," Kara said more forcibly. "You can't leave, not this time. Please, for me."

"I can't see your pouting face so it's not going to work on me."

"But you know I'm giving you the pouting face so it's got to have some effect on you."

"Fine," Alex relented.

"Besides, J'onn went to go pick up mom at the airport and they should be on their way back."

"What? Kara, you said you wouldn't call her."

"Technically I didn't, she called you – had called you several times and you hadn't returned her calls over the last few days so she called me," Kara said. "Once she was on the phone, well, I couldn't not tell her since you were lying here in the medbay and we didn't know what was wrong with you. She said she was catching the first flight out here."

Alex leaned her head back against the bed. The last thing she needed was her mother around.

The only good thing was that her headache was now gone. She had never had a headache get that painful that fast. It had incapacitated her and she knew that had nothing to with psychosomatic symptoms.

If she had to she would make the doctor read over every test result she had been given while sleeping in order to hear the results.

"How long was I out?"

"Nearly 29 hours. They kept you sedated for 24."

"I remember you flying with me," Alex said. "Did … did Maggie …"

"She came here immediately to check on you, but she had to leave. I think she went back to work. She also knows I'm Supergirl."

"How?"

"She called me when you collapsed and then I flew into your apartment and well, she is a detective, it apparently didn't take much to put the pieces together."

"She will keep it a secret," Alex said with all certainty.

"There is probably something else we should talk about," Kara said. "You had a couple of other calls while you were asleep. Cass called three times."

Alex momentarily closed her eyes. She had no idea how she was supposed to deal with this situation while she was stuck in the DEO's medbay. But she didn't want to ignore her either.

"Do you have my phone here?"

"Yeah,"

Alex held her hand out for it and once it was in her palm, she asked, "can you give me some privacy?"

"Are you sure you want to call her now?"

"No," Alex said. "I need to though."

"Ok," Kara said, getting up. "I'll wait upstairs."

Alex waited until she heard the door shut and waited still for a few more moments before unlocking the phone and listening to the voicemails first. The first one was a typical Cass kind of message – she always seemed to start off like she was leaving a professional message before she would realize that she wasn't leaving a message for work. The second one had a small bit of an edge to it, but Cass said she was concerned.

The third was a voicemail that Cass left while standing outside of Alex's apartment – apparently she had come over to check on her.

Once she got through the voicemails, she gave the command to call Cass.

"Hello," Cass said upon answering. Alex shook her head a little – she couldn't even answer the phone without that professional tone even if she knew it was just Alex.  
"Sorry," Alex said.

"I was beginning to think I wasn't going to hear from you," Cass said. "Our last date wasn't that bad was it?"

She could tell Cass was trying to joke, but Alex could hear the worry in her voice. For someone as self-assured as Cass was, Alex had already noticed that was often a front she gave to people.

"No, of course not," she replied. "It's just … I need to tell you something and I wish I could do this in person and not over the phone … Cass, I don't even know how to say this so I'm just going to say it … I was injured on this last mission."

"I know, you told me that. You said it was a sprained shoulder," Cass jumped in before Alex could finish.

"Sorry," Alex repeated. "I should have been more upfront with you about the extent of my injuries. It's why I didn't want you coming over. I was hurt pretty bad – we were looking for a fugitive and things went south."

"Alex, are you ok?"

Alex hesitated before saying, "no."

"I want to come over," Cass said immediately.

"You can't," Alex said. "I'm not even there. I'm in a hospital."

"Which hospital? I can be there quickly. I just want to see you and make sure you are ok."

"You can't," she said again. "Where I'm at, well it's complicated and it's classified. I can't really even say where I am. Again, I'm sorry. I just woke up from being under sedation for the past 24 hours but I didn't want you to think I was ignoring your calls. Look, like I said, I don't really know how to say this, but I'm blind."

"What? How?"

"I can't explain it but it's … it's permanent. I'm never going to be able to see again."

Saying it out loud, even though she had told Maggie it was permanent, somehow felt different in telling it to Cass.

"Oh God," Cass said. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, it's something I'm going to have to learn to live with," she said. Even as she said it, she wondered – not for the first time – if this was indeed something she could learn to live with.

There was a knock at the door, "Agent Danvers," the doctor said as he came in and Alex indicated that he needed to wait.

"The doctor just came in, can I call you later?"

"Yes, of course, call me as soon as you can."

"Ok, bye."

"Bye."

She sighed as she hung up the phone. Drawing out this conversation was not what she wanted but at least Cass knew now about her blindness. By the time they talked next she was sure Cass would have come to the same conclusion she had – that their relationship was over.

"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked.

"Is that you Jeffrey?" Alex asked, although she was sure it was him. At least it wasn't Charles whom she had apparently broken his nose the other night.

"Yes, now how are you feeling?"

"Better," she said. "Still kind of tired, but that is normal after having been sedated for so long. What kinds of tests did you perform while I was unconscious."

He went through the litany of tests, which she had to admit was pretty thorough. She asked questions about all the test results and even went as far as asking about the testing methods themselves to make sure nothing was overlooked.

"Now that your awake I need to check your eyes again," Jeffrey said. "I'm going to lift each eye lid and shine a pen light to see if there is any reaction, ok?"

Alex nodded yes, trying to mentally prepare herself for this. If there was one thing about her blindness that she hated so far it was being touched. She never thought about how many times during the day a person touches another person even casually. Now most touches caught her off guard.

Jeffrey started with her right eye and if it weren't for him holding her eyelid up she wouldn't have known he was doing anything. Obviously, she couldn't see the light yet she felt like he kept her eye open a long time before moving to the next when all she wanted to do was blink.

"There's been no change," he said, as if she didn't know that on her own.

She bit her tongue to keep from telling him that she didn't need him stating the obvious. She knew he was just doing his job.

"Can I get some Tylenol or something?" she asked.

"What's wrong?"

"Slight headache," she said, not adding that it started with him entering the room.

"What can you tell me about this pain you felt in your eyes before you were brought in?"

"Not much," she said. "It felt like they were burning."

"Had you experienced any sensation like that before that instant?"

"No."

"How would you rate the pain in terms of intensity on a 1 to 10 scale?"

"35."

She had been injured many times but nothing had accounted for the pure amount of pain she had been in when her eyes were burning. She didn't know any other way to describe it.

It had started out as a headache, but if she was being honest she had a reoccurring headache since she had woken up. The only time it seemed to go away was when she was had been lying down in her room. Given her concussion, she knew headaches were post-concussion symptom that could linger for a long time.

But the intensity in which she felt this pain was not something that would come on so quickly – at least not without a cause. She refused to believe that cause was her own mind.

"I will have someone bring you in some Tylenol," Jeffrey said. "For now, just rest and we'll discuss some other tests we can do later."

Alex nodded her head and after he left she got out of bed. The first thing she did was bump into one of the monitoring machines. She was not used to the set up in Medbay – at least not well enough to make it around blind like she could in her apartment.

When she had gotten into the advanced part of her training to be an agent J'onn had her undergo sessions in blind combat. They would practice techniques while blindfolded and part of that was spending time at her own place with the blindfold on. He had stressed the need to know your surroundings through and through because while they took care to protect their agents' identities it wasn't always possible. And no one should be able to ambush you in your own home because you should know it better than anyone else.

While it had been a while since she had even done such training she still remembered the lessons and remembered her apartment's layout well enough to navigate it. Despite all the time she spent at the DEO, she wasn't sure she could get around here as well without her sight.

She felt around for the machine that she knew was connected to the sensors she could feel on her body and finding the off switch, she deactivated it and began to pull the sensors off.

Thankfully, she didn't have an IV in her to pull out. They must have removed it when they took her off the sedative.

She wondered what they did with the clothes she had been wearing as she was wearing a medical gown. Even if she could get to her locker, it wouldn't do any good as she had gotten the spare clothes the other day when she first went home.

She was torn between wanting to leave and her inability to do so. She wasn't about go out there wearing what she was wearing, and she also didn't want to go stumbling around the DEO.

Then it hit her, there really was nothing she could do.

She was stuck in here without assistance.

Getting back into bed, she laid on the one side she could do somewhat comfortably, which thankfully meant she could face away from the door. She lay like that with her eyes open until she heard someone enter the room and she shut her eyes to give the appearance of sleep.

"Alex," came the whispered voice of Kara.

She gave no reaction, hoping her sister would leave her alone. Hearing Kara come around the side of the bed, she assumed her sister was standing there looking at her, but she made no move to sit down.

Alex opened her eyes with a sigh. "Stop staring at me like that," she said, again sitting up and hoping she was actually facing her sister. She heard Kara sit down so she had a better idea of where to look. "You aren't responsible for this. You have stop blaming yourself for it."

"I should have been here," Kara said softly.

"I was a DEO agent before you became Supergirl. I got injured before you became Supergirl," Alex said. "It's the nature of the job. We aren't stopping our work here based on your availability to help us out. Even if you had been there, there is no guarantee that the same thing wouldn't have happened."

"I can't help it," Kara said. "Every time I look at you, I think, if I had been there that you wouldn't be in that bed right now. I came out as Supergirl because you were in danger. You were on that plane and all I could think of was that I needed to save you and this time I wasn't even here to try and save you."

"No, you weren't because you were out being a hero to other people and there is nothing wrong with that," Alex said. "I don't get to keep you as some personal superhero. Supergirl belongs to National City, to the world, to other worlds. I accept that. And besides, I'm the big sister here so I'm the one who has to look after you, not the other way around. It's in the sister contract."

"There is no such thing."

"Yeah, but you didn't know that when you first came to Earth. Got you to do my chores for like what two whole days before mom noticed."

"Didn't you do that so you could sneak out to meet some boy?"

Alex groaned. "Seth Miller, don't remind me. God, how did I not know I was gay back then?"

Kara laughed, "maybe it just took meeting the right girl."

Neither woman said anything for a moment. "She was really worried about you," Kara said. "Maggie, I mean. She cares about you, a lot."

"She cares about me like a friend because that's all we're ever going to be," Alex said. "She pretty much affirmed our friendship status yesterday morning before all of this."

"Are you sure it's not more than that?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Alex said. She wasn't willing to allow herself to believe otherwise. She had turned the corner on her feelings for Maggie – or so she told herself.

"How did it go with Cass?"

"Fine. She wanted to come see me, but I told her it wasn't possible. We didn't talk long so I'm not sure it fully hit her when I explained that I was blind. Once she understands, that will probably be the end of that."

"You think she will break up with you because you are blind?"  
"No, I think I will break up with her because I'm blind," Alex responded. "I can't even think about being in a relationship and being like this. There is too much going on in my head right now. I don't know, maybe the doctor is right and maybe this is some sort of psychosomatic response."

"Alexandra"

Alex turned toward the voice that was coming in, but even though she recognized her mom's voice, she was still unprepared for her mother apparently leaning over the bed and hugging her. The unexpected contact caused her to tense up. Before she could say anything, her mother had released her and had pushed her chin up – most likely because Eliza was taking a look at her eyes, Alex figured.

"That's odd," Eliza said. "There doesn't seem to be any difference in how your eyes look. They are the same color, no fading, no irritation or redness."

"Hello to you too mom," Alex said pulling away.

"You should have called me immediately."

Alex was about to give her some sort of apology, figuring it would be easier than arguing with her, but then she heard Kara say, "sorry," and she realized her mom wasn't chastising her for not calling.

"I asked her not to," Alex said, unwilling to let Kara be the target. "And before you say anything, I'm sorry too, but I needed some time to get used to this. It's not like I could have hidden from you forever."

Although she wished she could.

"J'onn has filled me in on what happened, but I want to see all the medical reports," Eliza said. "And I want to know what happened that you are here in the hospital wing. Is this some sort of after effect? Can we expect more of these episodes? Do we know anything about what this alien did to you?"

Alex wasn't sure if this was mom mode or scientist mode or some combination of it. What she did know was that her mom wouldn't be satisfied until each of her questions were answered.

She heard some movements, her mom going away from her, but then she heard a scraping noise and she figured it was the clip board with her medical reports being slid out.

"Kara, be a dear and turn on the lights so I can actually read these," Eliza said, as her voice began to drift to the side Kara had been on. The sound of the chair moving slightly gave her the idea that Eliza was now sitting there.

She also heard Kara moving and then the flick of the switch. She hadn't even known the lights weren't on. Her headache was still there and was starting to get worse.

"Kara, can you ask Jeffrey for some Tylenol, he was supposed to have someone bring a few?"

"What's the Tylenol for?" Eliza asked.

"Just a headache," Alex answered, hoping that would be the end of it.

"Are you sure it's just a headache? It says here you also had a concussion. Is it related to that or related to your eyes?"

"I don't know, concussion probably," Alex said. She was already getting tired of this conversation and her headache wasn't making matters any better.

"Here is the Tylenol," Kara said. "And some water."

Alex held her hand out for it and put the tablets in her mouth and held her hand out for the water and swallowed the aspirin. Hopefully, it wouldn't take too long for them to kick in.

She yawned, making a bit of a show of it. While she was a little tired, despite being asleep for an entire day, but the truth was she was tired of this conversation.

"Alexandra, honey, why don't you get some rest," Eliza said. "I'm going to talk with your doctor. We'll leave you alone."

Her mother gave her another hug and then she heard them leave and turn off the light. Once she did, she laid back down, but not to go to sleep. She held her phone in her hand considering if she should call Cass back.

Unlocking the phone she used the voice command to send a text instead to Maggie.

"Thanks for your help."

Then she waited.

When she got no response after 10 minutes of waiting – she kept asking the phone what time it was – she turned it off entirely, sat it down and turned back onto her side. At least her headache was receding.


	6. Chapter 6

Maggie waited at a corner table, waiting for M'gann to give her an indication that the alien she wanted to speak to was here. She had gone through all her contacts to see if anyone knew anything about the alien that had hurt Alex and finally she got a name of one that might know something. Unfortunately, it was not anyone she knew. He went by a human name - Brandon.

She knew investigations took time, but she felt a sense of urgency like she never felt before. She didn't even know what she was going to do when she found this K'artr. All she knew is she needed to find him.

When the 24 hours of sedation were up, she had gotten a text from Winn to say Alex hadn't woken and might not for several hours.

She had gone back to Alex's place after leaving the DEO. Her stuff was still there, which is what she told herself, but she had lingered there in the apartment. Sitting on the couch, she felt lost. She didn't really know what to do about any of this.

Had she messed this all up, she wondered. Alex had moved on with this Cassie woman and she should be happy that Alex was finally experiencing an open, honest life, but she wasn't happy. Sitting there she thought about what it would be like to come into this apartment, sit on the couch with Alex, maybe watch a movie or just lie there together.

She had that chance with Alex and lost it though.

The least she could do is try and be friends with her and try and find the alien responsible for her lying in that hospital bed.

That is why she was sitting here now waiting. She was nursing a drink for appearance sake as she was technically working. When she returned to the precinct she may have told her boss a little white lie about working a case with the feds. She gave him Winn's number for confirmation, not that she expected him to call it. She had worked up enough trust now with her commander that he hadn't questioned it much.

Besides, it had been slow in their division for the past week, which was why she had been allowed the time she took to be with Alex.

Her phone buzzed and she saw it was a text from Alex just as M'gann nodded to her, indicating that Brandon was now here. As much as Maggie wanted to check to see what Alex had texted, she put her phone away, downed her drink and walked over to the bar where Brandon was ordering a drink.

"Put it on my tab," Maggie said to M'gann. "And I'll take another."

Brandon turned toward her. "Why hello pretty lady," he said. "To what do I owe the drink?"

"I'm Maggie," she said. "Why don't you join me at my table and we can talk."

"Maybe we can do more than talk," he said.

"Doubtful," she smiled as she held up her badge.

…

Maggie exited the bar not feeling much better after speaking with Brandon. He claimed not to know anything, but he did offer to check it out for her.

She couldn't tell if he was lying to her or not. Her focus was just off.

As it was the conversation took more than an hour because Brandon liked to ramble and go off on tangents when he spoke.

She pulled out her phone and saw the text from Alex. There was also one from Winn telling her that Alex was awake and that the doctors hadn't found anything wrong with her.

"Damn it," she said to herself. She knew that wouldn't go over well with Alex. Clearly there was something wrong with her or she wouldn't have been in such pain.

She decided instead texting she would call Alex, but it went directly to voicemail.

"Hey, it's me," she said. "Maggie. I got your text and I was just calling to see how you were doing. So, yeah, just call me back or text and let me know how you are feeling."

Hanging up the phone, she felt like an idiot and wondered if her message was even coherent.

Maybe she should go to the DEO and check on Alex in person, she thought. Then she discarded that idea. Even if she went, what would she do, sit there in awkward silence with her.

She just wanted Alex to be ok, but she was beginning to think it was going to be awhile before she was anywhere close to ok.

…

Alex was sitting up in bed, listening to her mother speak with Jeffrey and Charles. They were all talking like she wasn't there, but for once Alex didn't mind. It had been two days of lying here in medbay and she was so done with it all.

She wanted to go home, which was part of what the three of them were discussing. She had no other episodes although she was still getting the occasional headache. A part of her wanted to point out that the headaches only seemed to happen when other people decided to come into the room to check on her, although it wasn't technically true, it felt true to Alex.

But the doctors weren't ready to release her – feeling like it would be best if she continued to rest there for a couple of days. Eliza was inclined to agree with them, but she also knew her daughter was way past her patience threshold at this point.

And her mom seemed to be leaning more toward the explanation that her symptoms were psychosomatic.

Not that Alex blamed her entirely – after all every test they ran showed nothing was wrong with her eyes beyond the initial diagnosis of her blindness. At this point Alex was ready to believe it was all in her head – another reason she wanted to go home.

Of course, during her two days of being there (three if you counted the time she was asleep) she had been visited by Kara, Winn, J'onn and even James had stopped by for a quick hello. Maggie hadn't been back though and Alex tried not to let that thought linger in her mind.

When she listened to Maggie's message she had replied in a text to let her know she was fine – whether it was the truth or not. But she didn't know what else to say so when Maggie had simply responded, "good to hear," Alex hadn't replied back.

She had spoken again to Cass – twice actually, in addition to several text message exchanges. Cass had called her each day to see how she was doing, to see when she would be released from the hospital and coming home. She had made it clear that when that happened she wanted to come over to see Alex. At least Alex didn't have to lie when she told her she didn't know when she would be let out.

Since she didn't want to talk about herself, she changed the subject to ask Cass about her work and other topics and Cass must have sensed that Alex didn't want to talk about her injuries so she backed off.

She was still unsure of how to approach a serious talk with her, especially in light of these calls. Cass hadn't mentioned anything about backing off of their relationship, although Alex hardly expected Cass to do so over the phone. Cass was very much a face-to-face kind of person.

As she sat there, she kept her eyes closed. She found she was doing that more often – keeping them closed because what was the point of keeping them open. Not that her mom would let her get away with it when she was being spoken to.

"Mom," she said, deciding it was time to interrupt this conversation. "I'm ready to go home."

"I know you are Alexandra, but …"

"No, you're not listening to me," she said. "I'm ready to go home and I'm going home." She started to move from the bed – something she had gotten better over the last couple of days. She could actually navigate the room quite well now, although she had yet to leave it.

Getting clothes to wear had been one of her first demands and so at least she wasn't having to wear a hospital gown. Kara had brought her to clothes from her apartment thankfully.

She heard her mom whisper, "let me speak to her," and she heard Jeffrey and Charles leaving. By this time she was fully out of bed.

"Don't," she said to Eliza – hoping to stop her before she started some sort of lecture. "I'm going home and that's final. I'm going crazy here. You all have run test after test and I'm done. Maybe Jeffrey is right, maybe what happened was just in my head."

"You don't believe that."

Alex shrugged. "There is no data to suggest it was anything but that so it's not a matter of belief at this point."

"You were injured in an alien attack, an alien we don't know much about," Eliza said. "There is no way of knowing if that was some sort of after affect or what. A couple more days, that's all I ask."

"No," she said. "I want to go home. I want to be in my apartment where I know where everything is at and where I can move around without constantly wondering if I am going to run into something or someone. I'm blind and it's not going to get any better for me."

Again, she flinched as her mother touched her. She wasn't expecting to be pulled in for a full embrace and she almost stumbled. "My beautiful, brave daughter, even if it doesn't get any better, I'm worried if it gets worse," Eliza said.

"I know," Alex said softly. "But I can't stay here. Not here. I worked here and …"

She couldn't finish the sentence. She couldn't give voice to how painful it was to be there at the DEO, being back here in the medbay when she would never again be out there with the people she worked with.

"Ok," Eliza said, sensing the turmoil her daughter was feeling. "We'll take you home.

….

Alex walked beside Kara with her mom and J'onn walking ahead of them. It had taken a couple of hours but she was finally getting to go home. They were walking to the underground garage where they would take one off the DEO issued vehicles to drive home. Kara had offered to fly her but Alex told her it wasn't necessary. Besides, she got the feeling she wouldn't be let out of her mom's sight for the time being.

She really hoped her mother wasn't planning on staying for very long.

They reached the car and she heard the doors being opened and she let Kara direct her to the passenger side seat. J'onn had only accompanied them down to sign out the car for them. She heard him give the keys to Eliza and then he came around to side of the car. Her window was down and he must have bent down a bit to speak to her.

"Get well," he said. "Because once you heal up, whether you can see or not, doesn't mean you stop being one of my agents so I expect you back here."

She resisted the urge to ask him what he expected her to do and instead nodded at him. Once Kara was in the back seat and the car was started, she expected it to start moving, but it wasn't.

"Do you want help with your seat belt?" Eliza asked.

"No, I got it," she said, but reaching for it with her right hand wasn't nearly as difficult as trying to get it buckled without the use of her left. It took her several tries and was about two seconds of telling her mom to forget about the damn thing when she finally got it latched.

"Alright, let's get you home," Eliza said and Alex felt the car shift slightly as it was put into drive. She kept her eyes forward and imagined what it looked like as they began to drive up the ramp to get outside. She had taken that drive many times – on her bike, driving one the DEO vehicles, as a passenger, and she realized she wasn't sure if the walls were grey concrete or if there was some other color on them. Just another thing she never took notice of and would never see again.

She slumped down in the seat a bit as she felt the ramp level off.

Almost immediately, her head began to ache again. Her mom was speaking to Kara and she tried to concentrate on what was being said, but her headache was getting worse. She exhaled and rubbed her forehead.

"Is something wrong?" Eliza asked.

"No," she said.

Even as she said it she knew it wasn't the truth. Her headache was increasing too fast, just like back in her apartment and it had already reached the point where she could feel it behind her eyes.

Somehow, she knew what was coming next and she shielded her eyes with her right forearm at the same time she said, "turn the car around."

"Alex, what's wrong?" Kara asked. But Alex didn't respond, instead she moved quickly to release the seat belt and she doubled over in the seat, keeping her head down and her eyes closed as the burning sensation was back. She barely registered the car turning as she was trying hard not to scream out in pain.

She felt like if she didn't keep her eyes protected they were going to catch on fire and leave her with only burned out sockets. With some relief – not from the pain – she felt the car descending again. As they came to a screeching stop, she reached for the handle to get out of the car, but it was locked. The moment she heard it unlocking she exited it and nearly fell to her knees and would have if Kara hadn't been there to giving her a helping hand.

"Get her back to medbay now," she heard her mom say and a second later she felt the familiar woosh of being picked up and carried at high speeds. She guessed they were back in the room she had been in when Kara let her down and while she didn't know what way she was facing, she began to feel around to get her bearing.

"Restroom," she said.

Kara directed her the right way and entered it, closing the door behind her and promptly threw up in the toilet. Between the pain and high speed, her stomach was in knots. Even as she puked she kept her eyes shut, not trusting what would happen if she opened them.

The pain was still there, but it wasn't as bad as it was in the car.

There was a knock at the door. "Alex," she heard Jeffrey say. "Alex, I'm coming in."

She heard the door open and the light switch being turned on. "Are you ok?"

She nodded as she felt her headache again notch up a bit. "It happened again."

"Ok," he said. "Let's get you back into bed."

She let him help her up and direct her back to bed as her mother came in. "What's wrong?"

"We're going to run some more tests," Jeffrey said, "But first, Alex on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is the pain?"

"I don't know, seven maybe."

"Did anything happen that triggered it?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Nothing," Eliza said. "We were just driving her home and we had barely left here when it happened."

"Was it like before?" Jeffrey asked.

She nodded. "Headache and the pain in my eyes. Can I get something for the pain?"

"Of course."

She heard him step away and her mom came over and brushed her hair back. "We're going to figure this out honey, I promise."

Jeffrey returned and explained he was giving her a shot of morphine and a sedative, but not enough to keep her sedated for 24 hours like before. He wanted her awake so he was just giving her a mild one.

She felt each injection barely as her mind was still concentrated on her eyes. The burning sensation was lessening, but she still had a headache.

"This is not psychosomatic," her mother said. "There has to be a cause for this.

"Alex, can you think of anything that was the same about each time it happened, besides the pain?"

Either the sedative he gave her wasn't as mild as he claimed or this latest episode had taken a bit out of her because she felt tired suddenly. She tried to think about each attack and if there were any similarities, but nothing was coming to mind.

"Alright, Alex, I'm going to open up your right eye and take a look."

She really didn't want to open her eyes, but she didn't feel like there was much of a choice. She felt him gently pull her eyelid up, but again there was nothing there for her to see. There was still pain there, but not the burning like it was before. She blinked several times, unable to help it as she felt the need to close her eyes. Each time Jeffrey opened it back up again before moving on to her left to repeat the process.

"Alex," this time it was her mother and her voice sounded not so much concerned but intrigued. "Why are you blinking so often?"

The question confused her. Why wouldn't she blink? Having someone hold open your eye lid wasn't exactly normal, plus it still hurt, in fact it had gotten a little bit worse since she came out of the bathroom.

"I don't know," she said. "Don't like having my eyes held open."

Then she paused and asked, "Why do you ask?"

"Because you are blinking every time the doctor is shining the light directly into your eye," Eliza said. "Your eyes aren't reacting to the light, but every time it is shone directly into it you are blinking, almost as if …"

She trailed off and Alex finished the thought for her. "Almost as if I'm trying to shield my eyes from the light."

That was the connection she realized. Light.

….

When Maggie saw it was Alex calling her, she answered it immediately.

"Hey Danvers, how are you feeling?"

"Um sorry Detective Sawyer, this is Alex's mom,"

"Why are you calling with her phone, did something else happen? Is she ok?" Maggie asked immediately. It couldn't be good if she was getting a phone call from Alex's mom.

"Alex had another episode but she is ok. We think we might have determined a cause, but I need to ask you a few questions about what happened at the apartment when it first happened. Do you have time?"

"Yeah, whatever you need."

"Thank you. Kara couldn't remember when she flew in to get Alex if the curtains were open or not, do you happen to remember?"

"They were open," Maggie said. "I had opened them that morning to let some light in. I think given what happened to her, Alex kept most of the lights off in the apartment and her curtains and blinds were closed. Why do you ask?"

"I will get to that in a moment. When Alex's eyes started to hurt was she facing any of the windows?"

Maggie paused while she thought about it. "Well, her head hurt first and that was in the kitchen, but I was leading her out to the couch so she could lie down when she started to say her eyes were hurting so yes she was facing the windows."

She heard Eliza exhale. "We believe that it is the light – particularly sunlight that caused the pain in her eyes. She wanted to go home today so I was driving her and as soon as we left the underground garage and were in full sunlight she started to have a headache and then it was her eyes again. We had to turn around and come back here. While the doctor was examining her we noticed she was blinking every time the penlight was shone directly into her eyes. She said she had been having headaches, but had written them off as being related to her concussion. We are thinking now that perhaps the headaches are because of lights. She mentioned that she thought the headaches were happening when people were around her, but it wasn't until this that she made the connection that when people were around her they were naturally turning on the lights."

Maggie considered all of this and had many questions, but she asked only one. "Is she allowed to have visitors, I'd like to come check on her?"


	7. Chapter 7

Alex was walking back and forth in her cell – ok, not a cell, just her hospital room, but a jail cell is what it felt like to her. The only reason she was walking was because she was tired of lying down, tired of being poked and prodded by endless testing.

The fact that her mother was one of those people doing the poking wasn't helping matters. She knew her mom was trying to figure out what had happened and that she meant well, but the endless questions about everything from how the headaches felt to what kinds of food she had been eating was getting old fast.

And then there was Kara.

Kara was ready to fly to anywhere on earth to get her anything she could possibly want at any given moment. She wasn't sure if it was out of guilt or just her need to be doing something that she thought might help.

Oddly, the only thing that remotely made her feel somewhat better was talking with Cass earlier. She had called to check on her and Cass must have sensed she didn't want to talk about it so Cass ended up talking about her day. Alex just sat there and listened, occasionally commenting and it felt good to just be there listening to someone else's life.

She had thanked Cass before getting off the phone and Cass had simply replied, "you're welcome."

Maybe they could still be friends after all of this, Alex thought. She couldn't imagine being in a relationship with Cass or anyone else right now the way things were. Hell, she didn't even know if she would ever be allowed to leave the DEO.

She felt like a captive because she really couldn't go anywhere. Yes, she could leave the room, but leave it and do what? How many people or things would she run into if she tried to take a walk out there.

There didn't need to be lock on the door or bars on this cell, she was trapped on her own because of her blindness. She sat down on the edge of the bed feeling a touch of darkness enter her mind. It was hard not to feel like this and she wasn't sure she wanted to make the effort to try and feel better about her situation.

There was a knock on the door frame, at the same time as a "hey Danvers."

She looked up and in the direction of the door, but couldn't say anything before Maggie spoke again, "why do you have bandages over your eyes? I thought your mom said your eyes weren't injured."

Great, Alex thought, why did her family members insist on sharing things with Maggie.

Her eyes were covered, not just with cotton padding, but with gauze bandages wrapped around her head to keep them in place.

"The idea is to keep any light from getting through," Alex said.

"Oh," Maggie said, and Alex heard her coming closer due to the hard flooring. "How long do you have to keep it like that?"

"Don't know, maybe forever," Alex said, tilting her head down as if she was looking at the floor. "As long as it hurts to have light on them. My mom, the doctors, they don't really know anything about what is going on with it. They just keep running test after test – but they don't know."

"I'm sorry," Maggie said. "I shouldn't have opened up the curtains and blinds at your place."

"It's not your fault," Alex said quickly. "Whether it was you, or Kara, or my mom or if I had done it myself or even gone outside the same thing would have happened."

She heard Maggie moving again, getting closer and then she felt the mattress shift as Maggie took a seat on the bed beside her. Alex laughed despite the situation.

"What?"

"I bet your feet are dangling right now," Alex smiled.

Maggie nudged her with an elbow, even though she too was smiling. "Hey, your feet aren't touching either."

"Yeah, but I didn't have to hop to get on top of the bed."

"Neither did I."

"Ok, sure you didn't," Alex said.

"Why is this bed so high anyway?"

"It's for the doctors. It allows them to stand and do any examination they need to do without bending over."

"So, you've had a lot of examinations."

Alex nodded but didn't elaborate.

Maggie noticed Alex kept her head down, and hadn't really looked over at her since she had been sitting there. She wondered if that was because Alex couldn't see her anyways or if it was because of Maggie's presence there.

"I used to get up in the morning – early morning before the sun rose and go surfing," Alex said. "I would paddle out as far as I dared to go to catch the best waves as the sun would come up and it was beautiful, just indescribable what it felt like to be out there. Out there, it's just you and your board and it's you and it's nature and I'm never going to get to experience that ever again."

Maggie could feel the dark mood descending upon Alex once more.

"You don't have to be able to see to experience life." Even as she said it, it rang hollow in her ears.

"I know," Alex responded.

They sat there in a few moments of silence, Maggie not knowing what to say, but knowing she wanted to see Alex smile again.

"So, your sister is Supergirl," Maggie said. "That was unexpected, but does sort of make sense, I mean now that I know the glasses really aren't much of a disguise."

"What do you mean it makes sense?"

"Well, you two work together, but I always had the sense you two were close, and then the other night when she came in to check on you and change your bandages I even thought maybe you two were …"

"We were what?"

"It sounds stupid now, but I wondered if maybe you and her were dating."

"Gross."

"I know that now, but I didn't then," Maggie said. "Speaking of which, have you spoken with Cassie?"

It wasn't a topic that Maggie really wanted to discuss, but she knew Alex had been concerned about what to tell the other woman, and if she was being honest, she too was curious.

"Yes," Alex said. "She knows. I didn't give her details obviously but she knows I'm blind. I thought maybe that would be the end of it, you know, but we've talked since and she says she wants to come over when I'm discharged from here."

"Why did you think that would be the end of it?"

"Because I'm blind," she said as if that was the only explanation needed.

"That doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be in a relationship if that is what you want," Maggie said. "This Cassie wouldn't be much of a human being if she wanted to bolt just because you're now blind."

"I wouldn't blame her if she did though," Alex replied. "This literally changes the dynamics of every relationship I have. I can't watch over and protect Kara like I'm supposed to. I can't be J'onn's second in command because I can't be a DEO agent anymore. Now I'm some medical problem that my mom feels like she has to solve."

Maggie put her hand on Alex's hand, surprised that she hadn't flinched this time. "Yes, it changes things, but all those people in your life, they aren't going anywhere. They love and support you. And if anyone can be blind and still be a badass, it's you Danvers."

Alex pulled her hand away.

"Ugh," Alex said. "My hair needs washed in the worst way."

Maggie hadn't really noticed but now that she was looking at her hair she could Alex's hair was a little greasy looking.

"When did you last …"

"Before all of this."

"Before, wow, I mean it doesn't look bad. Before, really?"

"Can't exactly shower with my arm in a sling and bandages in multiple places."

"So, you haven't showered either?"

"No," Alex said. "When I was unconscious before when they first brought me in from the field, I'm sure they bathed me as best they could, but since then I've … well I've done what I could. But my hair, I couldn't even try to use the sink at my place because I can't raise my one arm up. It seems silly to worry about washing my hair when clearly I have other issues, but at least if I could wash my hair I might feel normal, if that makes any sense."

"No, I get it," Maggie said. "I could help with the hair washing if you want."

This time Alex did look over at her. "Thanks, but with these bandages on my eyes and around my head I think it's going to be awhile before I get that luxury of having my hair washed."

She felt movement of the bed and heard Maggie's shoes land on the floor as she got up. "If I can find a safe way to get your hair washed, how about it?"

"Sure," Alex said, figuring this was not possible so agreeing to it wasn't that big of a deal. After all, there was no way her mother was going to allow these bandages to come off her eyes. That was one argument she had already lost.

…

Maggie walked beside Alex as they made their way back to the DEO shower and locker room areas. It had taken forever or so it seemed to get this handled, but Alex was going to get her hair washed, although Maggie wasn't sure Alex was all that thankful for how it worked out.

They had waited until most of the DEO personnel was gone or off site and it was just down to support staff. Alex didn't want to be seen by them so it was one of the things she insisted on. Maggie didn't entirely blame her – after all she was wearing only a pair of shorts and a T-shirt.

All of her wounds had been covered with additional waterproof coverings.

Her mother had helped her with all of this after Maggie had gone to her with Alex's request.

The second part involved Winn going through the electrical systems and turning off any lights in the locker room and shower room. The only way the doctors would sign off on this plan of Alex removing the bandages that covered her eyes was if there were no lights on.

The other caveat was that she couldn't do this alone – not that she could physically do a good job of it anyway, not with her shoulder.

That is where Maggie came in. She too was dressed in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt.

Alex didn't want Maggie there but as Maggie pointed out, it was either her or Alex's mom or Kara. Alex reluctantly agreed.

So here they were walking down a hall headed toward the showers.

"You didn't think I would pull it off, did you?" Maggie said, with a little smile on her face.

"I had my doubts."

"I won't hold it against you," Maggie said.

They got into the darkened locker room and Maggie directed her to a bench. The hallway lights had been dimmed but still, stepping into the dark room was striking. Although she could make out shapes in the darkness, including Alex, Maggie still paused to let her eyes adjust a little more to the darkness. She put down a bag next to Alex on the bench – it held the clothes they would change back into after the shower and the towels.

"I'm going to turn on the water while you take off your bandages," Maggie said.

She went into one of the shower stalls and turned on the water, feeling it out for temperature. When she returned to the locker room Alex was still pulling off the bandage. It had been wrapped around her head pretty thick.  
"Need any assistance?"

"No," Alex said.

Once the bandages were off, Alex pulled off the cotton pads that were over each eye. It was too dark for Maggie to make out what her eyes looked like although she knew from what Eliza said that there was nothing different about her eyes.

"Ready?"

Alex nodded. She stood up and slowly made her way toward the sound of the water. She reached her hand out when she figured she was close to the entryway. Once there, she took a step up into the shower, all with Maggie on her heels.

Alex immediately dipped her head under the spray. When she laughed as she turned around under it, Maggie was smiling.

"Ok, Danvers, time for some shampoo," Maggie said, as she reached for the bottle and squeezed some onto her hand.

"Should I lean over or kneel so you can actually reach my head?"

"Ha, ha," Maggie said, even though she suddenly had an inappropriate thought about Danvers kneeling in front of her.

Alex did lean over a bit and Maggie worked the shampoo into hair and finally let her go for the rinse.

Alex put her head back under the water, not enjoying it as much as she had her initial rinsing and that was because she was now hyper aware of the fact that she was in a shower stall with Maggie. She hadn't really thought this through.

When Maggie was rubbing the shampoo into her hair she began to feel tingly in places she shouldn't be feeling tingly. They were just friends, she kept telling herself, just friends.

Once she was done with the rinse, the process started all over again with the conditioner and again Alex felt like she could get lost in those feelings.

Maggie tried not to think about the fact she was standing in a small space with Alex who at this moment was soaking wet. The t-shirt and shorts that Alex was wearing were clinging to her at this point and Maggie was overly conscious of this fact. And all Maggie could do is stand back and watch Alex as she continued to let the water cascade over her.

Alex turned around in the spray again and accidentally ran into Maggie, who had been standing close by.

"Sorry," Alex said.

"No problem," Maggie said, even though she hadn't realized she had gotten that close to Alex that they would naturally collide if either of them moved much.

So many inappropriate thoughts, Maggie thought.

Alex was torn between wanting the shower to end – because she was hyperaware of Maggie's presence – and not wanting it to end because it felt good to finally get a shower.

This felt like a luxury even though it was only a simple shower and one she was doing while wearing clothes and with another woman there with her.

But she knew she couldn't stay in there forever.

"I think I'm good," she said finally.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Maggie had to reach around Alex to turn the water off and she placed her left hand on Alex's back as she did so and maybe it lingered there a moment more than strictly necessary.

"I'll go get the towels," Maggie said and she exited to grab the towels and brought them back in. "Um … how should I …"

"Just hand me one," Alex said. "I think I can manage drying my own hair with one arm."

Maggie did so and then she wrapped the other one around her own body which had gotten plenty wet. Alex had leaned over a bit and was using the towel to dry her hair as best as she could. At least her hair was short, Maggie thought, it would be more difficult long.

When Alex finished with her hair, she too tried to wrap the towel around her, but this was one task that she wasn't handling well with one arm so Maggie took control of the situation and wrapped it around her.

They exited and went back to the bench, this time Alex getting there without directions from Maggie.

"You know you navigate pretty well," Maggie said.

"It's not hard when you learn to count your steps from point A to point B. As part of the training here, you have to do a session on blind combat where you are blindfolded and have to defend yourself. It includes being able to be aware of your surroundings," Alex said. "Of course, I never thought I would have to put it to use on a permanent basis."

Maggie pulled her own clothes out of the bag and also Alex's.

"Your clothes are right there on the bench," she said.

Alex felt for them and Maggie was suddenly struck by something that hadn't occurred to her.

"Are you going to be able to get those on, with your arm I mean, not because you can't see," Maggie said, feeling like an idiot for pointing that last part out.

"Yes, detective, I can dress myself," Alex said. "It just takes longer than it used to."

Maggie was going to apologize and say she didn't mean to question Alex's ability, but there was a lightness in Alex's voice, even when she said detective, that made her think that Alex hadn't interpreted her asking in a negative way.

Turning from Alex, Maggie began to take her own wet clothes off and did another pat dry with the towel before beginning to get dressed again.

Alex heard the sound of the wet clothes Maggie was taking off hit the floor and again she became aware of the fact that she was there alone with Maggie. She tried not to think about the fact that Maggie was nearly naked or was naked for all she knew, but that was one thought that now seemed stuck in her mind. Trying to distance herself from that thought, she began her own slow process to get dressed.

By the time Maggie was ready to sit down and put her socks on, she realized that she had dressed a lot quicker than what Alex was capable of. She knew this because she had turned back around and could just make out Alex's silhouette and she was definitely not wearing her shorts any longer.

Maggie stood there for a moment and then quickly sat down to put her socks on and force herself not to look over at Alex until she was completely clothed once more.

As it turned out that was longer than Maggie had the wherewithal for and she glanced over at Alex again, this time as she was putting her sweat pants on.

"Should I go get your mom to have her put the bandages back on before we go out there" Maggie asked. "I didn't really think about that before."

Really, she was just looking for an excuse to get away from Alex while she was dressing.

"No," Alex said. "I think you can do a good enough job of putting them back on – at least well enough to get me back to the medbay."

"Ok," Maggie said. "So how was the shower?"

"It was really good," Alex said. "Thank you for doing this."

"I'm glad I could do something to help," Maggie said. "I feel like I haven't really done anything."

There was a moment of silence and Maggie kept her eyes on the floor in front of her, refusing to look at Alex.

"You didn't have to do anything," Alex said finally. "But I'm glad you did."

It took a while before Alex was dressed and Maggie was able to get the bandages wrapped back around Alex's head when Alex asked her for some help in doing it. Alex told her it didn't need to be perfect and it was a good thing that was the case because doing this in the dark was not easy.

After it was done, they walked out of the locker room and they made it back to the medbay – again Maggie marveled at how well Alex was able to move without seeing. She clearly knew the set up of the DEO well as Maggie almost took a wrong turn and Alex had to correct her.

When they got back to the room, Eliza and Kara were there waiting as Maggie expected they would be. Eliza took time to redo the bandages, putting fresh ones on. There was one dim light on in the room, enough for Eliza to handle it, but she warned Alex to keep her eyes shut.

"Thank you," Kara whispered to Maggie.


	8. Chapter 8

Alex was sitting on the edge of the bed as her mom unwrapped the bandages around her eyes and she listened to Winn explain the glasses they had designed for her.

They were basically enhanced sunglasses, designed almost like goggles to keep any light from getting through. He called them blackout glasses. Alex didn't care what he called them as long as they worked and would allow her to go home.

She was tired of being stuck there at the DEO.

They had got nowhere with figuring out why her eyes were responding to the light like they were. Without knowing exactly what the alien had done to her, they probably would never know. She had stopped caring frankly. Her eyes weren't going to get better so it was time to start to think about living life like this. Of course, when she thought it was simple blindness, it had been hard enough but to know she could never be outside (or inside with lights on) without wearing these glasses (assuming they worked) just made it harder.

The wraps finally came off her eyes and her mom put the glasses on her like she couldn't do it herself.

"How do they look?" Alex asked, thinking it might lighten the mood.

"They look fine," her mom said as if that was helpful. "But don't open your eyes yet."

If she could, she would have rolled her eyes. It's not like she hadn't been told not to open them before this whole process started.

"Ok, Winn, bring up the lights just a tad," Eliza ordered. There was a slight pause and then Eliza told her to open her eyes.

She did so and found the same blackness there to greet her.

"Do you feel any headaches or pain coming on?" Eliza asked and Alex shook her head no. "Alright, we will give it another five minutes and then bring the lights up a little bit more. We're going to take this slow."

"Computer, raise the lights," Alex ordered.

"Alex!" Eliza said, then it was "Winn, lower those lights."

Alex hopped down from the bed. "Winn, raise the lights."

She couldn't see Winn looking between the two women and then at Kara who shook her head no.

"These glasses will either work or not," Alex said. "Taking it slow won't matter. Let's just get this over with."

"Winn, Kara, can you leave us alone a moment," Eliza said.

Alex heard them leaving the room and she turned to face where she thought her mom might be standing.

"I know you are frustrated Alexandra," Eliza said, touching her on the arm only for Alex to brush her aside. "But you know as well as I do that the safe way to do this is to take it slow. You know this as a scientist. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you, but I won't risk you getting hurt like you were when we left here last time. I understand that what you do for a living is dangerous, but until I was there in the car with you, hearing the pain you were in, I never had to be there for it firsthand. Please, I know you want to go home, but be a little patient with me, let me do this the right way so you can go home and I won't have to worry about you – at least not as much as I do regularly."

"Fine," Alex said. "We will do it your way."

It was hours later before Eliza declared that the glasses were indeed working. Alex did have a small headache but that was due to the tedious boredom she had just endured.

"So, can I go home now?" Alex asked.

"Yes," Eliza said. "We will take you home."

Alex smiled, "that's what I have been waiting to hear."

It was another hour before Alex was walking into her apartment, with Kara and her mom escorting her. She had tried to tell them she could handle getting up there on her own, but neither was willing to let her do it.

"Thanks for dropping me off," Alex said, keeping a hold of the door.

"I was thinking that I might stay here a few days," Eliza said.

"No," Alex said immediately. "No, that's not going to happen. I just spent how many days stuck at the DEO, being constantly tested and … no, I'm done. I want to be left alone."

She could only imagine the expression on Eliza's face and the unspoken conversation going on between her and Kara right now.

"Are you sure?" Kara asked, finally.

"Yeah," Alex said. "Just give me tonight, please."

"Ok," Eliza said. "Kara, go around and make sure all the blinds and curtains are closed."

She listened as Kara moved away from them, but her mother remained standing there.  
"You call," Eliza said. "You call if there is anything you need or want. You call if you are experiencing any pain. Just because you want to be alone doesn't mean you have to be alone."

"I know," Alex responded. "I just need some time to myself to process all of this. I mean my whole life is now changed."

"Yes, it is," Eliza said. "But you have people who love you and care for you, and we're going to be there for you."

Alex waited, knowing what was coming next, and then she felt her mom embrace her. A moment later Kara returned and also hugged her.

Once they were gone, Alex shut the door and went over to her couch and laid down. She wasn't sure how long she laid there but it wasn't too long before she sat back up.

She was alone finally, but suddenly, she didn't want to be alone. Fishing her phone out of pocket, she made a call.

…

Alex opened the door, "Hi," she said.

"Hi," Cass said.

"Come in," Alex said making sure she was out of the way. She listened for Cass to move past her and then she shut the door, turning back toward her. She could hear the rustling of the bag, which Alex assumed was the food that Cass offered to bring over.

"Thanks for coming over," Alex said.

"I'm glad you called," Cass said. "I had been so worried about you."

Alex put her hands in her back pockets. "Um, I wish I could explain better but …"

She had probably told Cass too much as it was. Cass knew that she had been hit by an alien weapon, something she shouldn't have shared with her, but Alex had. She hadn't given her specifics though and Cass didn't know about her eyes reacting to the light.  
"It's ok, I understand it's your job. So, where should we eat at?"

"Table is good," Alex said. "Also, feel free to turn on any lights."

She had turned on one at the last moment before opening the door but she was pretty sure it was still dark in there. She was still wearing her glasses, another thing she told Cass about when she spoke on the phone with her earlier. She didn't want her to be surprised by them when she showed up.

Cass laid the food – from a Thai take out place – and Alex let her control the situation because she knew she wouldn't be much help. Hell, she was just hoping she could eat the food without spilling it on herself or on the table.

She had done ok so far, or so she thought, but it wasn't like anyone was going to tell the blind girl that she had a stain on her shirt. She could hear Cass getting the food ready and she tried concentrating on the sounds, hoping she could learn better to recognize what was happening around her based on the sounds.

"How was your day?" Alex asked after they were both seated and she had taken her first bite.

"Not too bad," Cass said. "Zeke and I spent some time at the park." Zeke was Cass' dog. On their first date, Cass had told her how she got him from a rescue service when he was just a pup. Alex wasn't quite sure if she was joking or being serious when she asked Alex if she liked dogs because it would be a deal killer as far as a relationship went if she said she didn't.

Luckily, Alex liked dogs. She had always thought about getting one, but she was away from home so often she thought it would be irresponsible of her to have one. Of course, now she had the time and she might actually need a dog – a seeing eye dog.

"You didn't have to work today?" Alex asked.

"No, it's Sunday."

"Oh," Alex said. She had no idea. Without the structure of her job, she had lost track of what day it was. In fact, without being able to see she was losing track of what time it was. "I didn't know."

"Tomorrow though, tomorrow is a busy day," Cass said, not lingering on it – one of the things Alex liked about her. Cass seemed to know when to change subjects as she read people very well. "I have meetings at 8 and 9 before court at 11."

Cass was an assistant district attorney for National City – one of the young bright stars of the office. If it weren't for her position, Alex probably wouldn't have agreed to that first date, but Cass had an understanding of law enforcement so using the FBI cover made it easier on Alex when explaining why she couldn't explain things.

"Has your boss chosen second chair for the McBeady trial yet?" Alex asked. They had talked about the trial – a high profile case – and how if Cass could the second chair position it could boost her career.

"Not yet, but he is my 9 a.m. so I'm hopeful that it will be brought up then," Cass responded. "He has to choose soon in order to give whoever will be assisting him time with the case files."

"I hope you get it," Alex said.

"Thank you," Cass said.

They continued to eat and exchange some small talk, the entire time Alex wondering how to start a conversation with her about her changed circumstances. Part of the problem is that Alex wasn't sure what all of this meant for herself much less anyone else.

She had a lot of time to sit and think over the last several days and she had started to think about things she would need to do such as figuring out a system to know what clothes she was actually putting on. Did she need to learn to read Braille? How would she prepare food to eat?

Yes, she understood there were blind people out there who navigated the world just fine without help. She had never imagined she would have to be one of them. Because even with her blindness, she didn't want to be burden to anyone. She didn't want people to feel like they had to help her.

Thankfully, since it was takeout there was no real clean up. Cass suggested they take a seat so they went over the couch.  
"Where is your coffee table?" Cass asked.

"I had it removed," Alex said. "Easier to get around without it there."

"Makes sense," Cass said as they took seats. Alex sat down first and was surprised when Cass sat down close to her, so close their legs were touching.

"So how are you, really?" Cass asked. "Are you in much pain?"

"It's gotten better," Alex said. "It'll be a little while before all the wounds heal, I mean all the wounds that can heal. I don't know, I have a lot of things to think about as far as my future goes. I don't even know where to start."

"Well, wherever you decide to start at, I hope you know that I will be here for you," she said.

Alex figured that was the opening she needed to discuss the two of them and where things stood now between them. She was about to say something when she felt Cass shift slightly and then she felt Cass lips press against hers. It startled her, but she managed not to move back from it.

It was a small kiss at first and then followed by a few more which Alex returned. She felt like her nerves were all standing at attention with the sensation of it – and again she mentally asked herself how could she not have come to the realization sooner that she was gay.

"I know we haven't been seeing each other long," Cass said softly. "And I know your circumstances have changed and I'm not a priority right now, I get that, and I understand that. You need to concentrate on you right now, but I like you Alex and I don't want to just end things because of what happened to you. If you feel the need to, I will respect that. But I would really like it if we could see where this goes."

Alex didn't say anything at first, her mind for some reason flashing to Maggie. Her friend Maggie. But it was Maggie who had said that her blindness didn't mean she couldn't experience life.

"I don't know what things are going to be like for me here in the short term or long term," Alex said. "And I don't know if I can do a relationship right now. But I like you a lot Cass and maybe we could just take things slow for right now and see where it all goes."

"I would like that very much," Cass said, giving her another small kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

Alex sat on her couch, as she listened to her mother. Eliza had showed up at her door, along with Kara, bright and early that morning – a little too early for Alex's tastes. She had slept ok, but not great the night before, having woken up a couple of times during the night. Cassie had stayed until around 10:30 or so, and then Alex was all alone once more.

She had gone into her bedroom and laid down, but sleep had been a long time coming. She had played some music through her phone for awhile, hoping it would lull her into sleep, but it hadn't.

Kara had brought her some coffee at least along with a bagel and cream cheese. She had already eaten and Kara had left to go to work, leaving her alone with her mother.

Currently, her mother was talking about some practical matters – such as making sure Alex had more than one pair of the new glasses, and also suggesting that she could arrange to stay there with Alex for a little while.

"I appreciate the offer, but I don't think it's a good idea," she said. "I have to learn to do things on my own and I can't do that if you are here doing things for me. I need to figure out all of this stuff – how to prepare meals or pick out clothes that match. For every one thing I think of I'm sure I'm not thinking of five others I should."

She had talked through some of the things with Cassie last night. Cass had offered to help her with anything Alex felt comfortable with her helping with – making it clear that she didn't want to overstep.

Even though they hadn't known each other that long, Alex knew it was the truth. Cass had a big heart and while she may be ruthless in the courtroom, she was still a softie at heart.

The truth was Alex didn't even know where to begin with all of this.

"I understand that," Eliza said. "But right now, it's not just your eyes. You have other injuries and don't try and tell me that you aren't in any pain."

Her mother wasn't incorrect as part of the reason she hadn't slept well was because her body ached. She could only imagine what she looked like. Cass had said it wasn't bad, but she also didn't expect her to say anything different.

The side wound – the bandage would still need to be checked every day – was still very tender.

She had been pinned under the collapsed wall, not just from the rebar that had punctured her, but from the weight of the building materials that had fallen on her.

"It does hurt," Alex admitted. "But if you stay here with me then it's not much different than me being at the DEO. You're going to want to help and I get that, but I have to figure out this stuff on my own, figure out how to do things on my own."

She heard her mother moving toward her and then felt the couch sink at bit as her mother sat down. She waited for the inevitable touch, but it didn't come.

"I understand that you need to figure a lot of this out on your own, that you need to create your own new comfort level," Eliza said. "But tell me Alex, when did you asking for help become such a bad thing in your mind?"

Alex looked off to the side, away from her mother. She didn't know that she had an answer to the question. It's not that she didn't think that asking for help was a bad thing, but always saw her role on the other side of it – the one willing to help, not the one asking.

Hell, she had been helping Kara since she first came to this planet. After joining the DEO, she had done everything she could to excel – to show her worth and that worth was in part defined by not needing to ask for help.

It was how she saw herself, she realized. She was the one who could swoop in to lend a hand, but she wasn't the one with her hand out to ask for assistance.

She wasn't ready to give that up despite her blindness.

Turning back toward her mom, she said, "I just need to do this by myself."

She heard her mother sigh in resignation. "Ok," Eliza said, standing up.

Alex immediately felt guilty because she knew her mom really did just want to help.

"Well there is something that you could help with," Alex said.

"What is it?"

"Light, there is still light coming in the apartment," Alex said. "And it's not a big deal when I have my glasses on, but even with the blinds closed on the windows light is still getting in because of the curtains. I think I need blackout curtains."

"Can you actually tell there is light coming in?" Eliza asked, clearly in her scientific voice, not her mom voice.

"Not with the glasses on," Alex said. "But I can't wear them at night when I sleep so when I woke up this morning, I think maybe I could tell there was light coming in, but I'm not certain."

The bedroom didn't get a lot of light anyway because of its position and the lone window, which was one of the things Alex liked about it. Sometimes if missions went late in to the night or early morning, or if she was returning from a trip, she might have to catch her sleep during the day and her bedroom was the darkest part of the apartment.

When they had finally figured out it was the light that had been hurting her, she had given it some thought about why it had taken so long for it to hurt her. Her blinds and curtains has been closed and she had spent a lot of her time in her bedroom and a lot of time with her eyes closed.

It wasn't until that morning that Maggie had opened the blinds and curtains that Alex had gotten direct sunlight.

"Did you have a headache this morning?"

"A small one,"

"Alexandra, when I asked how you were feeling when I got here, you should have said something."

"It was a small headache, not a big deal," Alex responded, thinking this was exactly why she didn't want her mother hovering around her 24-7.

"We don't know enough about what happened to you to dismiss anything, even a small headache," Eliza responded. "Now do you still have the headache?"

"No," Alex said. "It's been gone since I took the pain meds this morning."

"Good," Eliza said. "Now if you keep getting these headaches you have to speak up."

"Yes mother."

"Don't roll your eyes at me Alexandra."

"I wasn't," Alex said, even as she lowered her head and wondered if her mom did somehow know she had rolled her eyes.

"Alright, if I am going to get you some blackout curtains, is there anything else you need immediately?" Eliza asked.

Alex thought about telling her to pick up a couple of bottles of bourbon, but knew that would not endear her to her mother.

"No, nothing I can think of," Alex said.

"Ok," Eliza said and she came over and kissed Alex on the top of the head, which Alex was not expecting so she gave a slight shudder. "I will go pick some up, but you call me if you think of anything else that you need or want."

"I will."

She listened as her mother gathered up her purse and left the apartment. As soon as she was gone, Alex picked up her phone from where she had it sitting just under her leg, and asked for the time. It was past 11 already so she missed the chance to speak with Cass before she had to be in court so she sent a text.

"Did you get it?" was what she wrote. She had thought Cass might have texted her after her meeting with her boss but she hadn't heard from her so she hoped that didn't mean Cass didn't get it.

She wondered what she should do now. What could she do?

She ended up standing and going to her room, placing her phone down on top of the dresser. Then she opened her closet and grabbed the first piece of clothing her hand touched. Pulling it out, she laid it on the bed and then she felt it.

It was a long sleeved, button up shirt – probably one of the dress shirts she would wear when going undercover as an FBI agent. But she couldn't tell which one specifically it was. It could be blue or white or some shade of red. She had no idea so she sat it aside and pulled out another shirt, repeating her actions from before, to figure out what kind of shirt it was. Again, she could only get so far with identifying it.

She would need some sort of system, a way to tag the clothes to help her identify them. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she started to think about what kind of system she thought might work for her. She was sure she wasn't the only blind person who had to come up with a system and it probably wouldn't be too hard to get some suggestions but she wanted to think this through on her own.

Maybe her mom was right, maybe she did have a problem with asking for help. Maybe she needed to rethink this.

Her phone beeped and she went over to the dresser. It was a text from Maggie asking her how she was. She didn't answer immediately – instead going back to sit on the bed. She wished she had something to say or talk about with Maggie other than how she was. She wished she could speak with her with ease, but ever since she realized she had feelings for her, that hadn't been possible.

But Maggie did want to be her friend and maybe that is what Alex needed right now in her life, she thought. Of course, right after thinking that, her mind went to being in the shower with Maggie.

….

Maggie was waiting at the bar for Brandon to get there. He had texted her earlier in the day to let her know he might have something on the alien that had injured Alex. Maggie wanted to know immediately, but Brandon put her off, telling her to meet him at the bar that night.

The waiting was like a small bit of torture. Alex had gotten released from the DEO hospital yesterday and had gone home. She had found that out from Kara, who had promised to keep her in the loop about how Alex was doing.

After Brandon had texted her, she had sent a message to Alex to ask how she was. She wished she had something better to talk to her about or ask her, but she didn't. Alex had responded that she was fine and the new glasses were working well. Then Alex had told her that she had decided to take her advice about not letting this stop her from living her life. That part had made Maggie feel a lot better. She was worried that Alex, despite how strong of a person she was, would let this drag her down too much. She had already seen touches of that depression in Alex so she had been concerned that Alex would struggle more with this than what she would probably let on.

She had spoken with Eliza when she was at the DEO, and when Eliza had told her that it would be more helpful if they knew exactly what this alien's powers were and how it worked, Maggie had become even more determined to track it down.

Finally, Maggie thought, as she saw Brandon come in. He came and took a seat next to her.

"What do you got?"

"What no hi, no how are you?"

"Hi Brandon. How would you like me to shoot you if you don't tell me what you got immediately?"

"Jeez, tough crowd," Brandon said. "I was just getting to it, but I want a drink first." He signaled the bartender and ordered a drink all while Maggie resisted the urge to slam his head against the bar to get him to talk.

She tried to calm herself, telling herself that he would tell her the information and she shouldn't be getting this upset. She knew she was only getting upset because she wanted so badly to do something, anything to help Alex.

His drink was finally brought over and he took a long sip of his beer before he finally spoke. "Weird one this is," Brandon said. "Can't say I can make much sense of this one, but your K'artr hit up that clinic to take drugs."  
"Yeah I know that. I read the police report about what was missing."

"Yes, but did you know that while they took a shitload of drugs, the only drugs that they were actually after were prenatal ones."

"What?" Maggie asked.

"Yep, prenatal drugs, which of course is ridiculous because what would a non-human need with prenatal drugs."

"Unless those kinds of drugs do something different for him and his kind," Maggie conjectured. It wouldn't be the first time she had heard of alien species using human drugs for other means than what they were intended for.

"Could be, but whatever it is, I don't have a clue. And apparently that clinic didn't have what he was looking for so he has been contacting other means in order to get it. Underground stuff, you know," Brandon said taking another drink. "Word is he felt the heat after that raid when some of you law types tracked him down – alien hunters of some sort. Anyway, he is laying low because of that but he still needs the drugs."

"So which supplier is he working with?"

"They call him Downtown Eddie."

"Eddie, of course."

"You know him?"

"Yeah," Maggie said. "Our paths have crossed several times before."

She disliked Eddie mostly because the man did not know how to tell the truth. Everything with him was an embellishment or completely made up. He was not reliable as a source. It was news to her that he was now supplying human drugs to aliens. The last she heard he was still dealing with stolen goods not drugs.

"Anything else you need?" Brandon asked her.

Maggie shook her head no. "Thanks for the assist. Next round on me," she said putting some money down.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why is this important to you?"

If you had asked her afterward, Maggie wouldn't have had an answer for why she said what she did to Brandon.

"This alien hurt someone who is special to me," she said. "He blinded her with his power, and she is struggling with this new normal of her life and I feel like this … tracking him down is the only real thing I can do."

"And what are you going to do if you find him?"

She looked at him, realizing what he was asking her. "I'm going to bring him in so he can answer for his crime."

"Then you aren't looking for revenge?"

"No," Maggie said. "I want to know why he broke into the clinic. It's easy to just lump every alien into the same category and I have colleagues who are like that. They think that none of you should be here regardless of if you are doing anything wrong or not. They don't want to look beyond anything other than the fact you aren't human. I don't subscribe to that kind of thinking. There is a story behind how everyone of you got here, and I think we are doing a disservice if we don't recognize that. There is a reason my friend is now blind, and I want to know what that reason is."


	10. Chapter 10

Alex had a smile on her face even before she opened the door, but as she did open it she said, "congratulations."

"Thanks," Cass said as she entered the apartment and Alex shut the door. "I can't begin to tell you how hard it was not to scream in excitement when he told me I could be second chair on the trial. I wanted to text you sooner than I did, but it felt like I was on the run all day."

"It's ok," Alex said, her hands in her back pockets. They hadn't moved from away from the door and she was beginning to feel a little self-conscious just standing there like that.

"I know this is probably a bad idea given you're on medication, but I brought some champagne," Cass said.

Alex smiled. "It's ok," Alex said. "One or two glasses won't hurt. After all, you have reason to celebrate."

They retired to the couch after Cass got them some glasses to drink from and poured their first drink. By their second drink Alex was laughing at a story Cass was telling about one of her first cases and how the defendant tried to escape during a break and managed to get himself stuck in a ladies' restroom window.

Cass was actually the one to find him as she had to go to the restroom.

"What did you say to him?" Alex asked.

"I didn't say anything. I was so shocked to see him – or rather see his ass and legs hanging there that I walked right back out and got the baliff."

"How long did it take to get him out of there?"

"Long enough that we postponed his hearing until the next day," Cass said. "The best part was that we bring him in the next day and inform the judge and his attorney that we have filed escape charges against him and he yells 'objection' and then goes on to say that he can't be convicted of escape since he didn't actually escape."

"Interesting argument, but I'm guessing it didn't work."

"No, it didn't," Cass said. "But I think the judge appreciated the humor of it."

"Well counselor, you have come a long way – from prosecuting dumb criminals to being second chair for the trial of the year here in National City," Alex said.

"Second chair is a lot of responsibility," Cass said. "It's what I've been working toward because if things go well it could really open doors for me. It's been hard to be patient, paying my dues and everything, so to know my boss has faith in me means the world to me."

"You are probably going to be really busy aren't you?"

"That would be an understatement," Cass said. "All the case files were sent over to my office today and my first case meeting is in a few days and I need to be prepared, which means making sure I know the material."

Alex realized in that moment that Cass probably should be using this time to review that material, not be here with her.

"My reading skills may be in a bottomless pit right now, but if you need me to listen to anything to do with the case, you know if you need a sounding board, I'm right here," Alex said.

"Thanks," Cass said. "I might just take you up on that offer and you may regret offering. And you will have to come to the trial to see me in action."

There was a slight pause. "I didn't mean see, like …" Cass started to say.

"It's fine, I understood what you meant," Alex said.

"I know you are probably tired of people asking this, but how are you really?"

Alex was tired of people asking that, even though she understood why they asked. And she knew Cass was also only asking out of concern.

To answer, she just sort of shrugged. "I don't know," Alex said. "I guess don't know how I should be feeling about it. I have all these thoughts swirling around in my head and I feel like I should be doing 100 different things in order to prepare for life like this, but at the same time I don't want to do any of those 100 things because … because to do them would make it all seem more real to me. It's stupid. I know my eyesight isn't going to come back and part of me accepts that but another part of me doesn't want to accept it."

Cass moved in closer to her and took her hand. "You don't have to accept it, not fully, not right away. Move at your own pace."

"How do you always know the right things to say?" Alex smiled.

"I'm an attorney, it's what I get paid for," Cass laughed.

Alex was feeling a little relaxed with the alcohol in her system and she wondered if this was one of those moments where she should give Cass a kiss. She thought about it, wanted to do it, but she wasn't even sure where exactly Cass' head was so she didn't.

As unsure as she was about most things right now, she truly wasn't sure how to date someone when she couldn't see them. It sounded stupid to even think it, but she couldn't help it.

She hadn't really thought about long-term relationships before she realized she was gay because she hadn't had a long-term one – ever. Once she was able to accept herself for who she was though, she had thought about the idea of waking up next to that someone special.

Being blind, she didn't know how that was supposed to work. Then again, maybe she was just overthinking things like she tended to do and she should just slow down and deal with the things she could deal with in the immediate future.

She realized that she had paused so long that a kiss now didn't seem a possibility, so she merely sat back a bit on the couch and brought the conversation back to Cass and her case.

…

Alex woke the next morning, reaching for her glasses from the bedside table. She felt around for them and accidentally knocked them to the floor.

Groaning, she reached toward the floor, while still lying down on the bed.

Her head ached a bit, although she was sure it had nothing to do with her condition. When Cass left the night before there was still champagne left in the bottle, and Alex told her that she would handle dumping the rest out.

She hadn't actually done so, helping herself to the rest of it, and then topping it off with one of the bottles of alcohol she still had in the apartment.

It wasn't one of her smarter moves she could admit, but it felt good to pass out and she was pretty certain that any dreams she may have had last night stayed in the recesses of her mind because she slept straight through and didn't recall any dreams.

She was about to say screw the glasses and go back to sleep when she heard a knocking on the door. It was probably her mother and sister. She had thrown away the evidence of her drinking last night so maybe she could avoid any lectures.

Sitting up in bed, she knew she would have to get her glasses now so she got out of bed but as soon as her foot hit the floor, she heard the crunching sound and felt the impact that indicated she had stepped right on the glasses.

"Son of a bitch," she swore.

The next sound she heard was a key in the lock of the door to her apartment and a moment later it opening.  
"Alex?" her sister called out, clearly having heard her swear. "Is everything ok?"

"My glasses, they fell on the floor and I just stepped on them," she said.

"Are your eyes closed?" her mom asked.

Alex sat back down on the bed, "of course they are," she said, already wishing that her sister had come alone, or not at all. She heard noise from the other room – curtains being pulled back and the window opening and then closing and the curtains being closed once more. A moment later someone entered her room.

"I sent your sister to the DEO. Winn had been working on the spare pairs so maybe one of them is done," Eliza said. She could hear her mom move closer and then the sounds of her picking up the broken pair and placing them on the bedside table.

Then she felt the bed dip a little to her left where her mom had sat down next to her, but she didn't say anything.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"Thirsty."

"I'll get you some water."

She heard her mother leave the room and once she did, Alex opened her eyes. It would be dark in her room, or mostly so, so she didn't figure it would trigger another episode. Keeping your eyes closed all the time wasn't exactly something that came natural, which is why Alex was thankful she had the glasses.

The night before Cass had asked her if she could see her eyes. The request had caught her off guard even though Cass had a big lead in about wanting to ask her something that she should feel free to say no to and she even apologized for asking. Alex wasn't sure why she wanted to see her eyes and Cass couldn't seem to explain it well either, but Alex had taken the glasses off and opened her eyes while facing her.

There was only one light on in the room and it was behind Alex so she wasn't too concerned.

"Your eyes," Cass said. "I know you said that everyone said they looked normal, but I guess I didn't think that they would really look the same."

"Yeah, I think it throws most people off," Alex said. "But I swear, I really am blind."

"I wasn't asking because I thought you were lying."

"I know," Alex said. "Just a little blind humor. Or at least my not so good attempt at it."

Cass touched her face, causing a slight tense up, and cupped her jawline before leaning in for a kiss.

"Alex, you need to keep your eyes closed," her mom said, knocking her from her recollection. She closed her eyes because she knew that would be easier than responding to her mother.

"Here is your water," Eliza said, and Alex held out her hand and when she felt the bottle she gripped it and unscrewed the top and took a long drink.

Eliza took a seat beside her on the bed. They continued to sit there in silence until Kara returned. Kara entered the room slowly, seeing her adoptive mom and sister on the bed and Eliza looked up at her and Kara just shook her head no.

"Winn said he could probably have the extra pair done today, but they're not ready quite yet," Kara said. "It may not be until tomorrow."

"I need to take a shower," Alex said, her voice flat. "You should probably get to work Kara."

She didn't wait for a response, merely got up and walked toward the bathroom.

"You need to let me put waterproof coverings over your bandages," Eliza said.

Alex stopped but she didn't turn back to them. "I forgot, I can't even shower on my own."

"Alex," Eliza started to say.

"It's fine," Alex said. "I'll just forgo the shower."

She still went to the restroom and shut the door and Eliza indicated to Kara that they should go out to the main room. Kara stopped first and picked up the broken glasses.

"Winn can fix these. Maybe quicker than he can get the other pair ready," she said.

"Go ahead and take them to him now and then get to work," Eliza said.

"Maybe I should stay here."

"No, you've missed enough time at work," Eliza said. "Just go. I'll stay."

"I want to do something to help."

"You are," Eliza said giving her a hug. "You are here for her, but Alexandra, she needs to be willing to accept help and she isn't there yet."

Kara looked in the direction of the Alex's bedroom. "I thought maybe she'd snap out of it by now. You know be all gung ho about something, anything."

"This isn't something she is going to be able to just bounce back from, which is something I'm not sure even she realizes yet."

"She is hungover," Kara said. Normally she wouldn't rat out her sister but in this case she felt she needed to.

"Yes, I know," Eliza said rubbing her forehead. "I will speak with her about it."

A knock at the door had Kara and Eliza looking at it a moment before Kara moved to open it.

"Maggie," Kara said.

"Hey Kara," Maggie said. "I just came to speak with Alex a bit. Is now a good time?"

Kara moved out of the way for Maggie to enter.

"I have to get to work," Kara said, to Maggie and then turned a bit. "Alex, I'm heading to work. Maggie is here."

Kara nodded to Maggie and then stepped out.

"Hi," Maggie said Eliza. "How is she?"

"She broke her glasses so the day isn't starting out great."

"She's probably going to need spares anyway."

"Yes, we're already working on that," Eliza replied, taking a moment to consider this woman. She knew that Maggie was gay and knew something had happened between her and Alex but she didn't know the details. In addition to being independent, Alex also didn't like to share details of her personal life so most of what Eliza knew she got from the little that Alex did say (and what Kara would tell her).

She knew Maggie cared for her daughter – that much was obvious to her from the moment she had come to her to ask about getting Alex a shower at the DEO.

"Hi," Alex said, coming out into the main room. She wasn't exactly looking in the direction of her mom and Maggie as she hadn't heard anything to indicate where they were.

"Hi," Maggie said. "I thought I would stop by before I went into work."

Eliza looked from her daughter to Maggie and back again.

"Why don't I let you two talk," Eliza said. "Alex, I'm going to get some breakfast, would you like something?"

"Sure," Alex replied. "Just pick me up anything."

"Ok," she said, and she said goodbye to Maggie before leaving.

Maggie waited until the door was closed, thankful that Eliza and Kara had left.

"So," she said, turning back toward Alex. "How drunk were you last night?"

"What?"

"You heard me. How drunk were you?"

"How did you know I was drinking?"

"Because of the texts you sent me."

"Texts?"

"Wow. I figured you were drunk but the fact that you don't recall texting me answers the question of how drunk you were," Maggie said. "Alex, why would you get drunk like that?"

"I don't know," Alex said throwing up her hands. "Oh wait, I know why, because I'm blind."

"That's it then. You're blind, so you are just going to what get drunk every chance you get? Come on, you are better than that."

Alex moved over to the couch and sat down. "If you are going to lecture me, feel free to walk back out that door."

Maggie seriously considered doing just that, but she knew that was probably what Alex wanted so that she wouldn't have to deal with this. Instead she came over to the couch and sat down, pulling out her phone.

"The first text was pretty average, it was just 'hey,' followed by 'hi,' followed by 'are you awake,' then the first of my favorites, 'what are you wearing?'"

"Oh God," Alex said, bending over and burying her face in her hands.

"I'm just joking, you didn't send that last one," Maggie said and Alex sat back up and swatted her hand at her, managing to hit her arm.

"That's not funny," Alex said.

"It was a little," Maggie said. "But in all seriousness, you did send me like 18 messages, including telling me I could have your bike because as you said and I quote, 'I'm blind so I probably shouldn't be riding around town on it.'"

"At least I was being truthful."

"I don't want your bike," Maggie said.

"It's a really nice one."

"Do you want to talk about why you decided to get drunk last night?"

"Not really."

"There is a reason I didn't want to say anything in front of your mom," Maggie said. "But I can wait until she comes back with breakfast if you would like."

Alex shook her head a bit. "It wasn't my intention to get drunk," she said. "Not at first at least. Cass came over last night and brought a bottle of champagne with her."  
"And she thought it would be a good job for you to drink?"

"It wasn't like that. She just wanted to celebrate because she got named to be second chair for this big trial coming up," Alex said. "I only had two small glasses but when she left, well …"

"Is that why your glasses broke?"

"Nope, that was just pure blindness."

Maggie didn't say anything to that, but she thought about what Alex had just said. "You said Cass was celebrating being named second chair for a trial, she is a lawyer?"

Alex paused before answering, "Yes, she's with the prosecutor's office."

"You're dating Cassandra Thielen," Maggie said, not really phrasing it as a question. She paused as she let this bit of information sink in.

Of course, she knew who Cass Thielen was. She hadn't personally had any cases with her, but she knew she had a reputation of being a total hardass in court.

And she was beautiful.

"I take it that means you have decided you can move forward with a relationship."

"I don't know," Alex said. "She says she is good with us taking it slow and she understands that I may not be able to fully commit to anything right now."

"I sense a but there."

Alex shrugged, "I guess I thought it would feel different."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like I should feel more, like there should be some magical spark or something," Alex said, not mentioning that the only thing she had to compare it to was how she felt when she realized she had feelings for Maggie. "I do like her, I just don't know if I'm hesitating because of my eyes or because maybe I only like her and it won't go any further than that."

"Well the good news is that you have plenty of time to figure it out. Cass said she is good with taking it slow, so believe her," Maggie said. "Only you can decide what you really want."

I wanted you, Alex thought, but that didn't work out.

"Now, I need to get into work but the next time you feel like getting drunk do me a favor and call me first so I can tell you what a bad idea that is," Maggie said standing up. "And if you want to text me, you can just text me without the pretense of a drink in you. I might even tell you what I'm wearing."

"Still not funny," Alex said.

"Yes it is."

Alex stood up, "I didn't really text you anything like that did I?"

"I assumed you were using speech to text so some of the texts were just you starting and stopping I think. It was really hard to tell. But no you didn't ask me what I was wearing. You did offer me your bike a couple of times."

"It's not like I am going to be using it," Alex said. "It isn't a bad idea and I would like it to go to someone who is going to appreciate it."

"Why don't we hold off a bit on giving away your worldly possessions, ok?" Maggie said. "Now, remember, if you feel like drinking, call me. Deal?"

"Ok,"

"Good," Maggie said, and then she thought about giving Alex a hug, but she didn't want to startle her. Instead she told her goodbye and Alex escorted her the door and she left.

…

Eliza returned to Alex's place hoping she had given Maggie and Alex enough time to speak.

"I'm back," Eliza announced as she entered. She didn't see Maggie or Alex there in the main room so she assumed Maggie had indeed left.

She put her purchases down on the table and started to get them out.

"Alex, did you hear me? I'm back and brought you some food to eat."

When she didn't hear a response back and Alex didn't appear she made her way back to the bedroom. There she found Alex sitting on the edge of her bed, wrapping gauze around her head and not doing a great job of it.

"Here, let me," Eliza said, coming over to assist.

"Keeping my eyes closed isn't easy," Alex said. "Figured this was the best option until I get my glasses back."

"Hopefully, that will be today," Eliza said. "But in the meantime, yes this is probably for the best. Did you put any extra padding over your eyes before you started the wrap?"

"Yes."

Eliza ended up having to take most of the gauze off and starting over again. Alex remained quiet throughout.

Afterward, they went out and ate breakfast. Eliza felt a bit odd observing her daughter knowing that she couldn't see it was being done. If Alex had seen it, Eliza was sure there would have been some comment thrown her way by now, but again Alex remained quiet.

"I'm going to go lay down," Alex said after she was done eating.

She got up from the table, but Eliza, grabbed her hand.  
"Alex …"

"Could you not do that," Alex said shaking her off.

"Sorry," Eliza said, releasing her. "Are you alright? Did something happen with Maggie?"

"No, nothing happened," Alex said. "I just want to go lay down."

"Did the food not help your hangover?"

"It's not a big deal mom."

"Yes, it is," Eliza said. "You can't be drinking with the medication you are on. You know this."

"You know, I'm an adult, I don't need to be lectured by you or anyone else about what I choose to do," Alex said. "I had a few drinks last night, I think after what just happened to me I'm entitled ok, so lay off. In fact, just leave. I don't need you here. Go back home."

Eliza didn't react at first. She could see her daughter was hurting, trying to show she didn't need anyone and all she wanted to was give her a hug and let her know it was going to be ok. But Alex needed to make the first move.

"You want to be left alone, then fine Alexandra, I'll go," Eliza said. "Just know this, I love you, and I'm always going to be here for you when you need me. But you need to learn that needing someone isn't a weakness. Admitting you can't go it alone doesn't make you weaker."

Eliza got up and made it to the door and purposely paused, hoping that Alex would finally back down.

When she didn't, Eliza left.

…

It seemed like everyone with any sort of sustained criminal past knew Downtown Eddie, so it wasn't hard for Maggie to track him down. She found him holding court outside of a convenience store. There were several people around him, talking to him and she observed him nodding his head and writing something down in what appeared to be a small notebook.

She stayed in her car watching him from down the street for a while. While she did feel a bit better for having seen Alex this morning, she also was concerned about her – even more so now.

When she had woken and saw she had a bunch of text messages from Alex she immediately thought something must be wrong.

Then she started to read them.

She hadn't lied to Alex – outside of the whole 'what are you wearing' part – but she hadn't told her the complete truth either.

Looking at her text messages now, her eyes went to the last one Alex had sent – "I still really like you, a lot."

It hadn't taken much thought to realize Alex must have been drunk based on the messages. But still, Maggie knew they would have to talk about it.

The prospect of it didn't really make her happy. It wasn't that she wasn't pleased that Alex still had feelings for her, and this clearly gave her the opening to tell Alex about her own feelings, but the idea that Alex was drunk texting made her worry.

What she wasn't expecting was for Alex to not even remember sending them. She had decided almost immediately that it would be a bad idea to bring up that last text. What she needed was to find out why Alex felt the need to be getting drunk at all.

There was no way all her wounds had healed yet, which means she must still be taking pain meds, which meant that drinking was the last thing she should be doing.

And Cassie should have known better than to let her drink.

Assistant District Attorney Cassandra Thielen – now she had face to go with the name.

And yes, she may have googled her name the moment she left Alex's place. It's not that she hadn't seen a picture of her before, had seen her in person actually, but still she felt compelled to read up on her.

Cass was the second youngest person to be named an ADA in the city. A local woman, she had graduated from National City University and decided to stay here and practice law.

There was a lot to admire about her, but right now she wasn't Maggie's favorite person and not because she was dating Alex.

She understood that Cass might want to celebrate a promotion but letting Alex have alcohol was inexcusable. A part of her wanted to track her down and tell her how inappropriate it was for her to have done that, but the more reasonable side of her won out.

Putting her phone away, she out of her car and approached Eddie. She even had her NCPD jacket on because she wanted people to see she was a cop, see she had a gun. As she got closer a couple of the guys around Eddie noticed her and immediately took off running. But she paid them no mind as she walked right up to him.

The guy didn't even try to run, not that Maggie expected him to. Eddie liked to pretend like he was some sort of criminal mastermind who wasn't afraid of anything.

"Detective Sawyer, isn't it? It's been a while."

"Yes, it has Eddie," she said, smiling. "And if you tell me what I need to know quickly it will be another long while before you see me again. If you don't, I'm going to become your new best friend and hang out here every day with you. That should do wonders for your business. What is your business again?"

"Detective," he said, giving her a smile in return. "You know I'm always ready and willing to help out the NCPD. In fact, I was just heading into your precinct to give someone there a tip, so you have saved me the trip."

"Is that a fact?" she said, crossing her arms.

"When has Eddie ever steered anyone wrong?"

"Well, unless your tip has to do with someone approaching you about getting drugs, I'm not interested. You should think carefully about what comes out of your mouth next."

"Detective, you know I don't deal any drugs."

"Yes, I thought I knew that. Then someone laid a tip on me that you had changed businesses."

"I don't know who you are getting your tips from, but they are wrong. You know you should come to Eddie if you want good information."

Maggie had already had enough of this. Grabbing Eddie, she shoved him against the convenience store window and cuffed him.

"Hey, hey, detective, what's …"

"Shut up," she said, patting him down. She found the small notebook in his back pocket. It appeared to be written in some sort of code. She also found a handgun on him, which was loaded and she was betting not registered. Tucking the gun away in her jacket pocket along with the notebook. As she moved him toward her car, he began to protest, but she ignored him, putting him in the back seat once they got there.

As she took her seat behind the wheel, she took out the gun, ejecting the clip and putting it in her pocket once more and tossing the gun in the passenger side seat. Then she took out the notebook and looked at it more closely.

"Am I under arrest because you haven't read me my rights," Eddie said.

"I can read them to you right now if you wish," she said. "Or you can tell me what I want to know."

"I told you detective, I don't deal in drugs."

"Edward Marcus Yost, you have the right to remain silent," she began.

"Wait, wait," he interrupted. "I don't deal in drugs …"

She began again with reading him his rights.

"But I may know who in town you could be directed to if you were into that kind of thing."

She turned around and looked at him. "I'm looking for a very specific clientele who is looking for specific kinds of drugs. I have been told that this client – an alien – came to you for it after he failed to find what he was looking for when he robbed a clinic. Specifically, he was looking for prenatal drugs. Now did this client approach you?"

Eddie sat back in his seat and Maggie knew Brandon must not be wrong about this. But Eddie fell silent which was not something he usually did.

"Eddie?"

"I think I'm ready for you to read me my rights now," he said.

This was definitely not what she was expecting. She turned away from him and looked down at the notebook she had taken from him. She assumed the code was a way for him to take orders from clients without leaving evidence for law enforcement to track his illegal activities.

While it was strange for it to be in pen and paper, she supposed it was probably safer that way than stored electronically on a phone or computer.

She looked at him again. "Look Eddie, I don't care what you have been up to and I really don't want to bother taking you down to the station and filling out a bunch of paper work, but I will. The only thing I want to know is where I can find the person that asked you about getting prenatal drugs. That's it. You tell me that and you don't lie about it and you can walk out of here without me hassling you ever again. But I need that information."

"You don't want no part of that, detective," Eddie said. "Trust me."

"Look, I already know it's an alien who is wanting the drugs. I know he can be dangerous," Maggie said. "Now you say you don't deal in drugs, fine, but I know you well enough that you don't mind being the middle man either, so if you directed this alien to another supplier, I want his or her name."

She could tell he was weighing his options as he sat back and looked out the window.

"No one will know I got the info from you," she said trying to reassure him.

"You think it's that simple?" He sneered.

"Don't know. What I do know is that I want to find this alien and hopefully bring him in without ever having to pull a weapon. I know I'm not the only one looking for him either and trust me, it will be better for all involved if I reach him first."

"Who else is looking?"

Maggie considered what to tell him. It's not like she could say a top secret agency of alien hunters. But there was something that would either get him thinking or possibly spook him into making a mistake.

"Supergirl. And she isn't going to stop until she finds him."

"Supergirl? What's her beef with him?"

Now time for a little white lie.

"Back where she is from, he apparently hurt someone in her family, and she wants payback. I even heard Superman will be joining her in her hunt within a matter of days. Now it didn't take me any time to hear your name mentioned, what are the odds those two don't hear the same thing?"

This did seem to get Eddie's attention, although it didn't have the affect she was hoping for.

"Well, if Supergirl is interested in him then maybe she'll be able to find him and keep him from being a danger to anyone else," Eddie said. "You know keep us humans out of it completely."

Getting out of the car she opened the back door and motioned for him to get out. Pushing him against the car once he did get out, she undid the cuffs and walked back to the driver's side door.

"Is that it?" Eddie said.

"Yeah Eddie."

"You going to give me back my weapon and my notebook?"

"No," she said. "Have a nice day."

Once she left the scene she drove directly to the DEO. After going through the intake process, she was directed to Winn's station. She had called him to let him know she was on her way. She tossed the notebook to him.

"What's this?"

"Maybe something, maybe nothing. I think it's some sort of order book, but it's written in code. I'm hoping you can decode it."

"Am I looking for something in particular?"

"The guy I got it off of procures items for people – illegally. I got a tip that the K'atr might have approached him to get the drugs he was after when he raided the clinic. I'm hoping something in there might be a clue that will lead me to him."

"Ok, I will get to it later."

Maggie resisted the urge to ask him why later as she reminded herself Winn had a job to do and Maggie really had no authority here at the DEO.

"How are the new glasses coming along?" Maggie said. "I was over at Alex's earlier and heard about her breaking the one pair."

"I feel bad because you know she needs them," Winn said, "But, it's not going to get done today."

Maggie looked around the room and realized there did seem a bit of chaotic activity going on.

"Is something happening?" Maggie asked.

"No, not really," Winn said, "It's just that J'onn had to leave suddenly and well with Alex not being here things are not quite running as smoothly."

"Where did J'onn go?" Maggie asked, thinking it was odd that he would leave without having someone here in charge – normally that person would be Alex.

"I don't know, he didn't say, only that he would be back later today," Winn said. "He wasn't expecting to be gone long, but he said it couldn't be helped."

"Well, I'm sure you can hold down the ship while he is gone," Maggie said just as she caught a glimpse of Eliza heading down a hall. She wondered why she was there and not with Alex. "Just let me know if you find anything with that notebook."

"Will do."

Maggie started to walk away and then took a detour and headed after Eliza.

"Mrs. Danvers," she called out as she started to catch up to her.

Eliza turned. "It's Eliza," she said.

"Sorry," Maggie said. "Um … you didn't have to bring Alex back here did you?" She didn't think that was the case or Winn would have mentioned it, but she also wondered why Eliza was here and not with Alex.

"No," Eliza said. "She's home."

"Good," Maggie said. "I was hoping there wasn't set back you know with having no glasses."

"Nothing like that," Eliza said, and it was the way she phrased it that caused Maggie to dig a little deeper.

"But something happened?"

"No, it's just hard to see her going through this and knowing I can't do anything to help or at least she won't let me help her," Eliza said.

"Yes, well, she can be stubborn," Maggie said. "When we first met she told me to get out of her crime scene. I didn't think she and I would go from that to …" She paused, not really know what to say. She knew she should say friends and leave it at that, especially with Alex's mom. "To being two people who care about each other."

"Well you are about the only one she had let help her so far, maybe I should send you over there to kick down her door again."

"She told you about that?" Maggie asked, feeling suddenly very stupid.

"Kara did actually," Eliza smiled.

"Yes, I have admitted it wasn't one of my smarter moves."

"I don't know about that," Eliza said. "It could be interpreted as being somewhat romantic."

Maggie was fairly certain Alex hadn't interpreted it that way, but still the comment made her smile.

"If you think it will help Alex, I would gladly kick down another door."

"I might take up on that offer," Eliza said. "But for now, I'm going to try and respect the boundaries Alex has put in place."

"Boundaries?"

"Alexandra made it clear this morning that she doesn't need me around and I should go home."

"Wait, what?" Maggie asked. "I'm sure she didn't mean that."  
"I hope so too, but right now I don't know how to reach her," Eliza said. "I don't know, I thought things had changed between us for the better, that she knew I only wanted the best for her and for her to be happy and right now she's becoming untouchable."

Maggie knew that Kara had felt helpless, just as she had, but now Alex's mom just looked defeated. She hadn't gotten any sense from her this morning in the short time she had been around her so she figured something must have happened after she left.

"I'm sure she knows you love her and you want to help her," Maggie said. "But if you want, I could go speak with her."

"Thanks for the offer, but I think it's best if Alex comes around on her own," she said. "As you said, she can be stubborn."

"Ok, well let me know if you change your mind," Maggie said. She said her goodbye and even as she was walking away she thought despite what Eliza said, maybe she should go have another talk with Alex.


	11. Chapter 11

Alex woke from her nap, feeling a bit better than she had this morning. She sat up, still feeling sore, but made no move to move yet. She thought about how she left things with her mom and knew she should call and apologize. But she also didn't want it de-evolving into yet another disagreement or fight.

Standing up, she decided wounds or not she was taking a shower.

She made her way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and making sure there was a towel that was easy for her to grab. The next step was taking off the sling and then she proceeded to take the gauze wrap off her eyes.

Once that was done, she turned the shower on and waited for it to get the right temperature.

Stepping in, she felt a bit of a sting as the water hit some of the more injured parts of her body. Still, she thought, this is good, 'I can do this without help.'

After letting the water soak her, she realized that she had no idea where the soap was at – well not exactly at least. That's ok, the thought, she would rather wash her hair anyway. Suddenly, she thought about her last shower, the one she took with Maggie's assistance.

She hadn't wanted Maggie to help her with that shower, not because she thought it would make her uncomfortable because of how she felt about the other woman (although she did), but more because she hadn't wanted Maggie to see that she couldn't do it on her own.

Shaking off the memory, she began to use her good arm to feel around for the shampoo. Luckily, her shampoo and conditioner were always in the same spot. But even as she reached for it, her hand brushed up against the bottle and it got knocked from the shelf. She heard it bang onto the shower floor and slide.

She knelt down and felt around for it, finally finding it but as she stood back up, she felt a twinge of pain in her side where her wound was. She stayed still for a moment, willing the pain to go away. Taking a deep breath, she felt along that area gently but she couldn't tell if she had done any damage. Hopefully, she hadn't torn another set of stitches.

Putting the bottle in her left hand she popped open the lid and poured some into her right hand. This was the tricky part as she had to quickly put the shampoo on her head so she could then use her right hand and arm to put the bottle back on the shelf. Already she was feeling pain in her shoulder as the sling was no longer there to support it.

Placing the bottle back on the shelf, she rubbed the shampoo into her hair.

She managed to rinse her hair, get the conditioner on it and rinse, all without any more issues, outside of pain. All in all, she was feeling pretty good about her success as she turned the water off.

"I can do this," she said out loud.

Exiting the shower carefully, she grabbed the towel and dried off the best she could and went back to the bedroom to get clothes to wear. She managed to find a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt and get them on before returning to the bathroom to get the sling.

Once her arm was back in it, she thought about wrapping her eyes back up but decided it wouldn't kill her to have them free for a bit at least. The bandages she had on were wet, but that wasn't really something she could deal with so she left it alone.

Her side still hurt so she found the pain pills and took a couple of them before settling down on the couch. She even turned the tv on and flipped the channels until she found a news channel that she could listen to.

She had shut the world out since it happened, so she really had no idea what was going on out there.

It was only 20 minutes later that she was turning it off again, hearing nothing of any interest to her.

Sitting there she didn't know what she should be doing.

She never really had this prolonged of a break from work or school or anything. She was always going from one activity to another. This stillness was bothering her and she had only been doing it for a few moments.

This couldn't be how her life would be going forward – it would drive her crazy.

She thought about texting Cass, but knew the other woman was more than likely busy at work. Again, she thought about calling her mother, but again nixed the idea.

What would her life be like going forward?

Her job depended on her ability to see.

Despite the danger that her job could entail, she never really thought about ever being injured in a way that would prevent her from working. If anything, she thought she would get killed.

Thinking about her life now, the only thing she wanted to do was have a drink but that made her think about Maggie coming over that morning.

"Stop thinking about her," she said out loud.

She decided she would at least text Cass so she got up, but realized she didn't know where her phone was at. She had used it yet that morning but clearly she had been last night while drunk.

She also hadn't heard it ring or chime with any messages yet today.

"Son of a bitch," she swore as she began to search for the phone. She started off in her bedroom, thinking maybe it was on her bedside stand, but she felt all around it and came up empty. Next she checked the bed itself – going as far as to rip the blankets off to see if it was trapped inside and would fall out.

Again, no luck.

Next it was the main room, where she tore the cushions off the couch in case it had fell under one. She got down on hands and knees and felt all along the couch and chair.

Then it was off to the kitchen where she felt along all of the counters.

But she was coming up empty.

She searched everywhere she could think of making a mess along the way, but she couldn't find the phone.

"God damn it," she swore, as she took a seat at the table. She had no idea where her phone was and without it she had also lost her only lifeline to the outside world. She had no land line so it wasn't like she could use it to call Kara or her mom.

First her glasses and now this. It was shaping up to be a horrible day, not that she had any idea what time it was without her phone.

Again, she thought about having a drink, to lose herself in the oblivion of alcohol. Her options there were limited. She had maybe a bottle of beer in her fridge. She was definitely out of whiskey. Then it occurred to her that she did have a bottle of alcohol practically untouched under the sink. It was tequila which was not her favorite drink and also why there was a nearly full bottle.

It didn't take long for her to locate it and she brought it and a glass back to the table with her.

She poured herself a drink but she didn't make any move to actually drink it.

It was just that morning that she had told Maggie she would call if she felt like drinking again. That morning seemed so far away now.

And she couldn't find her phone to call her anyway, she thought as she took a drink.

It was later that evening that Kara let herself into her sister's place. She had tried calling but hadn't gotten an answer which had worried her. Of course she also knew that Alex might just be ignoring her and everyone else.

Kara had spoken with Eliza so she knew about Alex telling her to leave.

Between that and Alex being hungover that morning a part of Kara wanted to tell Alex she needed to grow up but that was only a small part of her. The bigger part of her wanted to comfort her sister and for Alex to accept it.

When she entered the apartment the two parts of her were warring as she saw the empty liquor bottle and Alex passed out on the couch.

She also noted the mess throughout the apartment and wondered what it was all about.

Shaking her head, she went over and picked Alex up and moved her to her bedroom. She noticed that not only did Alex not have anything covering her eyes but she had also taken off the brace for her shoulder.

Once Alex was in bed Kara went to the kitchen where she began to search for any and all alcohol that Alex might have hidden away so she could throw it out.

Then she proceeded to start cleaning up.

This time when Alex woke with her hangover she went straight to the bathroom and threw up. It didn't even occur to her that her last memory before passing out was that she was on the couch.

This is why she hated tequila, she thought.

She came back into her room determined to go back to sleep.

"I put some water on your bed stand."

"Jesus Christ," Alex swore as she felt her heart shoot from her chest. "Kara, what the hell?"

"I could ask you the same thing as in what the hell were you thinking getting drunk again. I found you passed out on the couch."

"Maybe you should have left me there."

"Maybe I should have but I didn't. Alex …"

"Spare me the lecture mom."

"No I'm not going to spare you the lecture," Kara shot back. "You were injured, you didn't die. You are still alive and at some point you are going to have to start living life again. I don't expect it to be easy but you've never back down from a challenge before so I don't understand why you are being like this."

"Because I'm blind! I'm blind Kara and there is no coming back from that," Alex yelled. "I can't come back from that. You want to know why I was drinking? It was because I lost my phone. I lost it somewhere in this apartment and I felt around everywhere and I couldn't find it. And without my phone I was cut off from everything, everyone and that is when it hit me – being blind I'm always going to be cut off from the rest of the world."

"No you aren't," Kara said. "You are choosing to cut yourself off."

Alex seemed to lose a bit of her steam after her outburst and she ended up sitting on the edge of her bed.

"I don't know how to do this," she said softly.

Kara came and sat beside her, putting an arm around her.

"You don't have to do it alone," Kara said. "Please, let the people who care about you, help you."

Alex didn't say anything, just nodded her head.

"Can you start by helping me find my phone?"

"It's on your bed stand, I found it earlier when I was cleaning up."

"Where was it?"

"In one of your kitchen cabinets."

"Oh. I must have done that after I was drunk texting Maggie."

"You drunk texted her?"

"Yep, she joked that I asked her what she was wearing which I was mortified by but she was just joking. At least I hope she was. Actually can you check my phone to see what I texted her?"

Kara grabbed the phone and waited for Alex to unlock it. She immediately saw the text messages in question and one in particular stood out to her but she didn't know if she should mention it.

"Well?"

"You offered her your bike?"

"Yes, she turned me down," Alex said. "I will probably just sell it. So that's it, no embarrassing texts?"

"Nope," Kara said.

"Thank God," Alex said. "Here, hand it back, I should probably call mom and apologize."

"You might want to hold off on that."

"Why? I've dealt with her disappointment before."

"No, it's just that it's like one in the morning," Kara said.

…

Maggie had no idea why Kara was coming to see her at work unless it had something to with wanting an update on her hunt for the K'atr. But that could have been handled over the phone and Kara had insisted they meet face to face.

She knew it had to do with Alex so she asked her how she was but got a somewhat non-committal answer from her.

The front desk officer let her know when Kara arrived and Maggie went and signed her in, taking her back to a room where they could speak privately.

"What's going on?" she asked. "Are you sure Alex is ok?"

"She's better today than yesterday," Kara said. "She should get her new pair of glasses later and I think she's ready to begin accepting that she needs help."

"That is good to hear. I ran into Eliza yesterday at the DEO and she told me about Alex asking her to leave," Maggie responded. "I was actually thinking of going to see her later."

"That is what I wanted to talk to you about," Kara said. "I was wondering what your intentions were toward my sister."

"My intentions? What does that even mean?"

"I know about the text messages she sent you. She asked me to check her phone to make sure she didn't send something embarrassing to you."

"Oh."

"Yes, that was my reaction when I saw what she sent you."

"Did you tell her?"

"No," Kara responded. "I thought about it, but she had already had a rough day, I didn't want to add to it by telling her that she had sent you a text to let you know she still has feelings for you. That is why I ask what your intentions are with her."

"I don't really know what you are wanting me to say here," Maggie said. "I don't intend to hurt her if that is what you are asking. I wouldn't do that."

"I don't think you would hurt her – intentionally. But she was already hurt when you rejected her the first time around."

Maggie rubbed her forehead while thinking she couldn't quite believe this conversation was taking place. "When I rejected her, I thought it was best for her and for me. I had just gotten out of a relationship and well, Alex, had just come out. I didn't want to get involved with her because I didn't want to lose her when it all eventually collapsed. But I lost her anyway," Maggie said. "When you told me about her injuries, I … I felt like … I don't even know how to describe it except that it was like the sun wasn't going to shine ever again. I needed to see her. I needed to know she was going to be ok. I needed that because …"

"You have feelings for her," Kara said.

Maggie nodded.

"Then why don't you tell her?"

"Because she doesn't need me to tell her that right now. She's obviously dealing with so much with her injuries and trying to figure out how to navigate life now, that for me to say anything would be selfish," Maggie said. "Besides, she'd dating someone."

"She deserves to know the truth."


End file.
